Genderbent Jinchuurikis
by Dragonoiya
Summary: Jinchuurikis all over the Elemental Nations have mysteriously swapped genders against their will one day. In trying to find a solution they encounter more problems, some that might start a war if left unsolved. SasuFemNaru, GaaFu, UtaYugi and other pairings.
1. To Ruin a Life

Chapter 1

To Ruin a Life

"Good night, Sakura-chan!" Naruto bade farewell to the only female on his team after the day's mission. He said nothing to Sasuke, and that was how the latter liked it.

It had been a week since the Sasuke Retrieval mission and things were tense between the two boys. Sasuke felt guilty about his attempt to abandon the Leaf Village and, even worse, killing his best friend. On the other hand, he was furious with himself for being so weak, losing to the dead last was a blow to his pride and made him question if he would ever be strong enough to even defeat his brother.

Naruto had mixed feelings. He felt bad that he had to rely on the Kyuubi's power to defeat Sasuke. But if the second tail hadn't sprung out, he would've lost to the young Uchiha and lose his best friend at the same time. He couldn't tell if he should feel happy Sasuke stayed or guilty he interfered with his goals.

Sakura switched looks between her two teammates. They were even worse now than the time after the Wave mission. She just hoped that they would resolve their tension before it started to affect their missions. Babysitting the Fire Lord's grandson had been hard enough with the two boys ignoring each other.

…

Sasuke sat brooding on the rooftop of his house, a regular occurrence. A figure body flickered behind him and sat down next to the Uchiha. Said Uchiha didn't even need to look to know who would dare trespass onto his rooftop.

"…Kakashi, what do you want?" Sasuke demanded rather than asked.

"Maa Sasuke-kun, does a teacher need to have a reason to chat with his cute student?" the masked jounin drawled. Sasuke scowled when he referred to him as "cute".

"Make your point." Kakashi's lone eye turned serious.

"You know you can't ignore him forever." Sasuke knew exactly who "him" was.

"It's not like the dobe wants to talk either."

"But you could at least make an attempt. Sort out your differences."

"…Kakashi."

"Hm?"

"Make me stronger. You have a Sharingan; you could train me to use it effectively. I will never lose again." Kakashi stared at his student through the corner of his eye. So demanding, this kid.

"And what if you try to run away again?"

Sasuke smirked. "Naruto will stop me." He declared.

Kakashi's lips turned into a genuine smile under his mask. Perhaps the Uchiha and Uzumaki would resolve their problems quicker than he expected.

…

Naruto made his way to his apartment after a nice meal of ramen at Ichiraku's. It _almost_ made him forget about Sasuke. Ever since defeating and bringing back the Uchiha, said boy had always been on the jinchuuriki's mind. Sasuke would've been stripped of his ninja rank if Naruto hadn't convinced the Hokage that the Uchiha wasn't in his right mind. Knowing that most of this was Orochimaru's doing, Tsunade let Sasuke off the hook with light punishment.

Naruto had been so busy thinking about his bastard of a teammate he never noticed the man wearing a black cloak with red clouds standing outside his building. The cloaked man bumped shoulders with the blonde seemingly deliberately, muttering apologies and then disappearing. All this without the Uzumaki's notice.

…

The cloaked man arrived back at the base with a Cheshire grin. Konan immediately squinted her amber-colored eyes in suspicion.

"Yahiko, what did you do now?" she accused.

Yahiko, still grinning like a mad man, trespassed Konan's personal bubble with his face mere inches from hers.

"You'll see tomorrow, Konan-chan. The news will be all over the Elemental Nations!" he exclaimed.

Konan knew she and Nagato would get a headache from whatever their childhood friend had pulled.

…

The next morning, the entire Leaf Village heard an ear splitting scream piercing through their heads. The villagers diverted their attention from whatever they were doing, then went back to their work thinking whatever that sound was it was probably a ninja thing.

The ninjas were also distracted but thought that the scream probably had something to do with Ibiki's torture session. He must be trying out something new. Some genins and the academy students were intimidated at first, and then dismissed it as something the higher-ups should take care of. Sasuke was not one of those genins.

That scream came from the direction of Naruto's house.

Sasuke high-tailed it to his best friend's home, kicking the door open and finding Kakashi already at the scene. The one-eyed jounin was trying to coax the blonde ninja to come out of the bathroom; Naruto had locked himself in there for some reason. Bribes of ramen weren't working.

Sasuke frowned. "Just kick the damn door open already. Or pick the lock; you're a ninja aren't you?"

Kakashi gave a tired sigh. "Ah Sasuke, things like this need to have a little…care. You go home, today's self-training, I'll take handle this." And with that, the masked ninja waved away his student.

Sasuke hesitated before realizing that this was a jounin here, fully capable of handling anything. He didn't know what Naruto was up to but he was sure Kakashi would do something about it. The Uchiha exited the apartment, the blonde orange-clad ninja still not off his mind.

As soon as Sasuke left, Kakashi turned back to the bathroom door.

"Hey Naruto-kun, Sasuke left. You can come out now." He called out.

"…You won't tell Sasuke-teme about this will you?" came an unusually high-pitched and feminine voice of Naruto's after a moment of silence. The jounin took notice of the change in voice.

"No, of course I won't." he reassured.

A few moments of silence passed and the door lock clicked, indicating it was being unlocked. Kakashi had his suspicions but he was still unprepared for what he saw.

Half hiding timidly behind the door, a female Naruto was seen waiting for the Copy Nin's reaction. Her blonde hair reached knee-length and the night clothes she wore were two sizes too big for her. The other distinctive features, like the blue eyes, tan skin and whisker-like birthmarks, stayed on the blonde girl.

"My my Naruto-kun, you've become quite the cutie." Kakashi giggled.

Naruto glared at her teacher. This was soooooo not funny. His manhood had been stolen away from him for heaven's sake!

"So, you mind telling me what happened to get you like this?" Kakashi asked, turning serious.

"How am I supposed to know? I just came home from Ichiraku's last night and went to sleep, then BAM! Next morning I'm a freaking GIRL!" cried the boy-turned-girl.

"Naruto, people's genders just don't simply change overnight." 'Then again, you're not a very attentive person so I guess there's no point asking.' was the added thought. "We'll have to report this to the Hokage. By 'we' I meant 'I'. You stay here and out of trouble, okay? See ya." With a wave, the jounin body flickered his way to the Hokage's office, leaving a very distraught and disgruntled Naruto.

After explaining Naruto's predicament, Tsunade couldn't help but burst into a full-out laughter session. Oh this was too rich, Naruto turns into a girl and is unable to turn back, unlike with the Sexy Jutsu. A messenger hawk sat on her windowsill. Still laughing, the Hokage unstrapped the message and read through it.

Sudden silence invaded the room, Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. The Hokage's face became serious but still slightly amused.

"Well, what a turn of events." Tsunade mused, "It seems Naruto isn't the only one."

Kakashi's brow rose. What did she mean?

"Cat," an ANBU ninja appeared and knelt before the Hokage, "send a team to the Waterfall Village and put down their rioter." The Hokage ordered.

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Cat submitted, then disappeared.

"…Mind telling me what that was about, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi's curiosity was spiked.

"The Village Hidden in the Waterfall has complained about their Nanabi Jinchuuriki rampaging and causing riots because her gender was somehow swapped." Tsunade explained.

"The Kyuubi and Nanabi Jinchuuriki's sex had been changed. Who's to say the others haven't been changed too?" Kakashi suggested, finishing what else the Hokage wanted to say.

"The biggest question is who did it? How and why? No one could gain any purpose from changing someone's gender."

"Unless we find the culprit, I guess we'll never know." concluded Kakashi. Bowing to the Hokage, he took out his favorite orange book and left while reading it.

Taking a large swing from her bottle of sake, Tsunade sighed. As Hokage, it was her responsibility to investigate and eliminate any possible threats to the village. She couldn't shake off the feeling that Akatsuki might be involved. It must be because Bijuus were involved.

…

When Kakashi returned to the Uzumaki's apartment, his favorite blonde knucklehead was nowhere to be found. He should have seen this coming, Naruto was never the kind to listen to orders or stay in one place for too long. But Sasuke was probably still walking around; Naruto wouldn't want Sasuke to see her wouldn't she?

Sighing, Kakashi went outside to search for the bane-yet-blessing of his existence. He contemplated going to the training ground then he remembered telling Sasuke today was self-training and, naturally, Naruto would have caught that. But he didn't tell Sakura.

Sakura would have come over to Naruto's place first if her teammates didn't show up for team meetings. The pink-haired kunoichi didn't crush on the Uchiha anymore but she was still sour he rejected her so painfully. If Sakura found Naruto in her…condition, then she must've dragged her off somewhere.

…Oh well, she was Naruto's problem now. Kakashi giggled evilly as he body flickered away.

…

"Ow OW! Sakura-chan, that hurts!" Naruto cried as Sakura forced her into wearing the contraptions females call bras nowadays. Sakura couldn't believe just how big Naruto's bosom was.

Sakura didn't know what to do when she arrived at her teammate's house and found out he turned into a girl (without the Sexy Jutsu) and can't turn back. But she did know that she needed to take said teammate shopping because her clothes were just so ill-fitting.

And now here was Naruto in the clothing shop, enjoying the torture session of trying out and buying clothes. She hoped against hope Sasuke won't stroll by and see them. She'd probably never hear the end of it from him; this was embarrassing enough with Sakura knowing.

Evening rolled by, and the girls had _just _finished shopping. Entering her home through her window, Naruto collapsed onto her bed. She'd never look at females and shopping the same way ever again. At least she got clothes that actually fit. Though Sakura protested, Naruto got a smaller version of her orange jumpsuit but she knew she couldn't wear that forever.

A knock on her door alerted her to a surprise visitor. Without thinking who it might have been, Naruto opened the door. As fate would have it, the visitor was (surprise surprise) Kakashi Hatake.

"Yo, Naruto-chan! I just wanted to check up on you to see if you're okay. Since you're alive and healthy right in front of my eyes-"

Kakashi didn't even finish his sentence when the door slammed right into his face. It didn't matter; he was going to leave anyways.

Taking his time walking down the stairs he (expectedly) met Sasuke. Onyx eyes were fixed onto the Copy Nin as he answered the silent question.

"'He's' fine, Sasuke, 'he' was just being a drama queen. Perhaps you should talk to 'him'." And with that, the masked man walked away giggling perversely.

Sasuke eyed him suspiciously and then dismissed it as his teacher just reading that orange porn book.

"Oh Sasuke, by the way," Sasuke turned back to hear what his teacher wanted to say now, "news is around that all the bijuu vessels are mysteriously having their genders swapped."

"And why does this concern me?" Sasuke asked, bored. Kakashi chuckled. Even experiencing the Kyuubi's power firsthand and yet he couldn't tell Naruto was a jinchuuriki.

"Just thought you should know." Kakashi body flickered away.

…

Naruto was mulling over whether she should wear her new jumpsuit and put on a henge for tomorrow's team meeting or just wear the clothes Sakura bought for her and go the way she was. Secrets couldn't be kept forever. Putting on her night clothes, the blonde ninja prepared for a shower.

A knock on the door resounded through her apartment. Thinking it was Kakashi again, Naruto stormed her way to the entrance and pulled back the door with more force than necessary. Poised to shout at her teacher, her mouth was left open and hanging when she saw Sasuke. Sasuke, on the other hand, was caught off guard to find Naruto looking and dressed like a girl.

"Dobe, what are you doing? Release the henge before you embarrass yourself." Sasuke said, thinking his blonde teammate was experimenting with his Sexy Jutsu or something.

"Uh…I can't…" Naruto struggled to find a good excuse.

"Why not?"

"Uh...you see…Granny Tsunade had this super special mission…ah…that only I could do and…uh…it requires me to do the Sexy Jutsu…um…for a long period of time so….I'm practicing…"

"Oh…okay? Look, Naruto, I need to talk to you."

"Can't it wait till tomorrow? I'm kinda busy right now."

"No, I need to tell you _now_." Sasuke steeled himself. He had never before done what he was about to do now. Naruto waited in silence for him, frowning. When half a minute passed Sasuke still said nothing.

"Look, teme, I need to prepare for tomorrow so I'll just be-"

"I'm sorry." It came so fast and so suddenly it barely registered in the blonde's mind.

"Eh?" was said blonde's intelligent reply.

"I'm sorry for trying to abandon the village and I'm sorry for trying to kill you. There! Happy now?" Naruto was shocked. _The_ Sasuke Uchiha was _apologizing_, a rare thing to get from him. Naruto should bask in this, and bask in the the glory of being the righteous one she did. But she didn't show it.

"So, we cool now?" Naruto asked, grinning.

"Yeah, we're cool." Sasuke said, giving the tiniest of smiles.

When the Uchiha left, Naruto showered herself and collapsed on her bed. Before falling asleep, she wondered what she would do if Sasuke found out her secret. Would they still be friends? Or would he treat her like every other girl?

That day, if people had listened _very_ closely, a total of exactly nine people were screaming around the Elemental Nations. The news had spread like wildfire that every jinchuurikis' genders were unwillingly changed by an unknown cause.

…

**Author's Note**

**Hellooo readers! I bring to you my second fanfiction, Genderbent Jinchuurikis. To answer some unasked questions that most of you must be having, yes Yahiko is alive. He didn't die but his position as Akatsuki leader was handed down to Nagato as a result of mental insanity. And in later chapters you will come to know just how the jinchuurikis' genders were changed. For now just read and maybe leave a review? :3**

**See ya! **

**Dragonoiya**


	2. Heads Will Roll in the Sand

Chapter 2

Heads Will Roll in the Sand

It might have been that Gaara was a psychotic bloodthirsty killer, but he was learning to tone down the attitude and open up a little bit after the invasion of the Leaf. Even so, when he got really mad, heads rolled, literally. They weren't real heads; they were just dummy heads, but roll in the sand they did.

Despite knowing this Kankuro just couldn't stop laughing at his brother's demise. At first Temari was concerned for her younger and socially awkward brother but it turned to an enthusiastic sisterly love, if the pleas to take Gaara clothes shopping and suggestions for 'girl talks' were any indication. They weren't even sure if they should call the young red head their brother anymore.

Gaara of the Desert, host to the Ichibi, village pariah not-so-much-anymore, candidate for the title of Kazekage and youngest 'son' of the Fourth Kazekage, has just turned into a girl overnight. No one knew how it happened but, right now, the Sand Siblings were busy trying to calm down their youngest member.

"Gaara, please calm down." Temari begged as the gourd on Gaara's back looked ready to burst. The sand around them was levitating a few centimeters off the ground outside the Sand Village walls. Gaara always came here when he was angry and the guards let him, for obvious reasons. "Look on the bright side. Now when someone kicks you down there it wouldn't hurt as much."

Gaara turned to give a murderous glare at his sister. It completely failed and only succeeded in making him look cuter. Gaara's face was rounded to look more feminine, his body and anatomy had completely changed to look like one of a fourteen-year-old girl. His hair grew longer in layers, reaching his shoulder blades. His distinctive features, the insomnia rings around his eyes and the kanji for 'Love' tattoo on his forehead, remained the same.

Kankuro was still laughing, rolling on the ground while doing so. Gaara kicked him down south so now, instead of rolling around in laughter, Kankuro was now rolling around in pain clutching at his crotch.

"Serves you right, Kankuro, can't you see Gaara's in obvious distress?" Temari huffed.

"I don't see you having any luck trying to comfort him, or should I say her." Kankuro retorted, slowly getting up while still clutching his lower regions.

"At least I'm _trying_! We're her older siblings; we should guide her and help her with her problems, mental and emotional."

"I don't see what the big fuss is all about. Gaara turned into a girl; she should take advantage of this! I bet we'll soon find her playing with herself…"

"Kankuro…" Temari's tone turned dangerous and almost Gaara-like murderous.

"JUST JOKING!" Kankuro exclaimed a little too quickly.

Gaara turned away from her siblings' argument back to the open desert, brooding and fuming in an adorable way because of her pout. A guard bravely inched close to her, still keeping distance, and pretended he was talking to his partner.

"You know," he started in a matter-of-factly tone and loud enough for the red haired jinchuuriki to hear, "I've heard that some people all over the Elemental Nations have mysteriously changed genders, just like Gaara-san there."

His partner, catching on to what he was trying to do, answered "Oh yes! I've also heard that a certain blue-eyed blonde in Konoha had suddenly turned into a girl. And that a boy started a riot in Taki because he was angry about 'someone changing her sex'."

The part about the guy in Waterfall Village didn't concern Gaara but the part about a 'certain blue-eyed blonde in Konoha' did. It was no secret to the people of Suna that the first friend their demon host ever made was the same person who made said red head willing to open up to others and stop his killing spree.

Gaara turned back to her still arguing siblings and addressed them. They stopped when she spoke.

"I want to go to Konoha." She declared stoically.

"Already? It's only been a week since we've last been there." Temari said.

"We. Will. Go. To. Konoha." was the slow demand from their brother-turned-sister. Well no one could argue with Gaara when she was like this, especially now that she was a girl.

…

Three days later found the Sand Siblings outside the walls of Konoha. The Hokage had promised them an escort and it seemed that their escort was a little late.

The gate guards, Kotetsu and Izumo, stared at Gaara. It wasn't every day you saw a transgender. Sure there was Naruto running around trying and horribly failing to look normal, but that was just one of them. She did succeed at fooling most of her fellow genin though, Sasuke included. Bets were being made around chuunin and jounin alike when Sasuke was going to find out about Naruto and when the two might hook up.

As the Suna nins waited for their escort, a familiar orange-clad blonde ninja stomped past them. Upon glancing at their attire said ninja receded a few steps back and took a proper look at the visitors.

"G-Gaara!" cried Naruto "You're here! And….you're a girl!"

Gaara scowled. The Naruto in front of her looked very much male and not gender bent at all. Was coming here all for naught?

"Yo, Naruto!" greeted Izumo "Happy to see a fellow kin who happened to befall the same fate as you?"

"Uh….?" was Naruto's intelligent reply. Big words were never 'his' strong point. Plus 'he' never did expect anyone else to know about 'his'...issue.

"Oh never mind."

Naruto turned back to face 'his' second best friend.

"Hey Gaara…..you okay?" Naruto innocently asked in concern for 'his' fellow jinchuuriki, who was practically trembling at the unfairness of the world.

"Why?" she started "Why did I turn into a girl and not you too?"

"Eh? What are you talking about? Oh right, don't tell anyone, but I put on a henge so I save myself the embarrassment."

A henge…Why didn't Gaara think of that? However, from the snickering of the guards she could tell it didn't work for Naruto and wouldn't work for her anyways. The damage was already done. And the poor blonde didn't even realize the others knew.

"Um okay…Who else knows you've been gender swapped?" Gaara asked curiously, trying to start a conversation.

"Oh just Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan and Granny Tsunade and now maybe also your siblings." Naruto replied, pointing to the other two members on the Sand Sibling team listening intently to their conversation. 'Practically the entire Leaf Village knows…' thought Gaara when she caught the guards' snickers growing louder. Naruto was still oblivious to it all.

"Hey Gaara, how about our teams go out for some ramen tonight for dinner? We'll have plenty of time to catch up!" exclaimed the hyperactive blonde.

"That sounds good." Gaara replied, following the escort who had just arrived to show them to their accommodations.

…

Evening rolled by and found the Sand Siblings entering Ichiraku's Ramen Shop to find Team 7 waiting there for them. Naruto was already on her fifth bowl of ramen, the other four bowls stacked in a small tower while the other two members had barely started eating.

The Sand Siblings took their seats and ordered their meals. Sasuke and Sakura eyed Gaara curiously.

"So it's true," Sakura started "jinchuurikis everywhere are…changing."

"So if someone's sex has been changed recently, we know they're hosts of demons." Sasuke stated.

"Way to go, Captain-Sasuke-teme-Obvious." snorted Naruto as she reached for a seventh bowl.

"Tch. You're not the one having your dignity taken away from you in one night."

Naruto fell silent and her darkened eyes were covered up by the fact that she was slurping away at the salty noodles. Gaara shook her head. And she thought Naruto was dense! Surely Sasuke should've seen the signs of a jinchuuriki in Naruto by now.

Dinner continued peacefully, with the occasional arguments and fights between Sasuke and Naruto and laughs at Naruto's and Kankuro's expenses.

…

Naruto walked the Sand Siblings team to their accommodations. While Temari and Kankuro argued, Gaara took the opportunity to engage in conversation with Naruto.

"He doesn't know does he?" Gaara whispered.

"Huh? Who doesn't know what?" Naruto asked, confused.

Gaara sighed. She forgot she always had to be straight to the point with Naruto or else the fool would never understand. "I meant Sasuke-san still doesn't know you're a demon host does he?" she rephrased.

"Oh. No, but I don't want him to know."

"Why not?"

"I don't want him to revoke our friendship again and look at me like the villagers do…" Naruto's clear blue eyes were downcast.

"Then he would be no true friend. A real friend, especially a best friend, wouldn't care about something like that."

Then a miracle happened. Naruto was silent. Gaara stared, slightly shocked at her silence. It was obvious Naruto was contemplating the red head's words but such silence from the blonde was unrealistic, as expected of Konoha's number one most unpredictable knuckle head.

"I'll think about it." Naruto suddenly said "I'll tell him when I'm ready."

Gaara nodded "Whatever makes you feel better."

Naruto gave a face splitting grin and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah well, Sasuke-teme's gonna get the shock of his life when he finds out I'm a girl!" she exclaimed.

The red haired jinchuuriki gave her a half smile. Naruto could be too cheerful for her own good, God forbid the Uchiha boy break her heart again.

After cheerful goodbyes, Naruto left the company of the Sand Siblings. They left the next day, Gaara being satisfied with seeing her fellow jinchuuriki.

…

A few days later, full of missions and training, Naruto still hadn't told Sasuke her secret. Sakura had been hinting it to Sasuke but Naruto shut her up in numerous methods whenever she came close to telling the truth. The pinkette was rather oblivious to Naruto's secret of being a jinchuuriki even when the answer was practically screaming at her. Kakashi was being…well, Kakashi.

Naruto noticed Sasuke seemed to tire out more these days. She'd seen him and Kakashi training the younger's Sharingan to the point said Uchiha ran out of chakra.

As they stood in the Hokage's office, giving in their mission report, Naruto saw the obvious slump in the usually stoic Uchiha's posture. It was strange. Naruto couldn't seem to get the onyx-eyed boy off her mind, it might be guilt, yeah that's it. When they finished their report and turned to leave the Hokage stopped them.

"Naruto stays, I have something to discuss with you. The rest of you can leave." Tsunade demanded.

The others nodded, leaving Naruto in the room rubbing her finger inside her ear.

"Yeah? Wat'chu want Granny Tsunade?" the younger blonde asked, ducking from a thrown ink bottle which was thankfully closed.

"Brat, show some respect." Tsunade growled, not scolding her more because she knew the orange-clad ninja wouldn't listen anyways. "Remove the henge."

"S'cuse me, what?"

"Lose the henge, brat. No one's here to see you anyways. Besides, I want to see the new you."

Scowling, Naruto did as Tsunade commanded, a puff of smoke indicating a dispelled henge. In its place stood a female version of Naruto, similar to the Sexy Jutsu but younger and clothed.

The Slug Sannin threw her head back in full-out laughter. Hearing the blonde troublemaker had been changed into a girl was one thing, seeing it for herself was just hilarious. Naruto glared at her Hokage.

"Okay, did you keep me here for a good reason? Or did you just want a laugh?" she snarled.

The Hokage regained her posture, but was still chuckling.

"Fine, fine, we want you to take in a temporary roommate while accommodations are sorted out. The Waterfall villagers didn't want her anymore so they sent her here unexpectedly. Or should I say him? Come in." she explained then ordered as a knock came on the door.

A young man entered through the Hokage's door. He had dark skin, short spiky mint green hair with an orange clip and equally orange big eyes. His outfit consisted of a short sleeveless white midriff shirt with fishnet armor underneath, long white armlets, and white pants. He had a forehead protector, which carried the symbol of Takigakure, on his right arm. He also carried a cylindrical object in red wrapping on his back. He scowled at the Hokage but seemed curious when he saw Naruto.

"Ah, good timing. Naruto, I would like to introduce you to your new temporary housemate and host to the Nanabi demon, Fu. Fu, this is the girl who is sharing a home with you and is the host to the Kyuubi demon, Naruto Uzumaki." Tsunade introduced.

Naruto and Fu stared at each other, dumbstruck. When Gaara hears of this, more than dummy heads will roll about in the sand making a tantrum to go to Konoha.


	3. Sting of the Demon Bee

**AN**

**Well you've all been waiting for this moment so now I, Dragonoiya, present to you the third chapter of Genderbent Jinchuurikis! But first, to clear up a few things…**

**I had a review from someone that went like **_"I know this is a Sasuke U. & Naruko U. story. But when Naruto and Fu just stared at each other at the end of this chapter. I'm thinking you should pair them up instead of Naruto and Sasuke."_

**Don't misunderstand; they stared at each other like that only because they didn't think they would see another person like themselves (excepting Naruto because of Gaara). Besides, I have plans for Gaara and Fu…if you catch my drift. Don't misunderstand the last line of chapter 2 as well; Gaara has a hard time making friends and it just so happens jinchuurikis like him are easier to make friends with. Gaara hadn't even met Fu yet.**

**Okay now, story start!**

…

Chapter 3

Sting of the Demon Bee

Fu was happier than she could ever be in her entire life. Well not including that she had turned INTO A FUCKING GUY! But that gave him the boost to wreak havoc upon the village that ignored and despised him, resulting in them just dumping him into the hands of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Fu just thought the _things _in Konoha were no better than the ones in Taki, but finding out there was someone else just like himself made it all worthwhile.

And now here he was, making himself comfortable in the house of the very person who was just like him. She was once a guy too, but she's still putting up a henge to save appearances. She certainly fooled the things and her fellow things but the superior things were unfazed by her petty attempt to look normal. Why go through all the trouble?

"So…" Naruto started once they sat down at the table, cups of steaming instant ramen in hands, "how 'bout we introduce ourselves, you know, get to know each other a little bit."

"Oh okay, how should I start?" asked Fu.

"Well we just talk about our likes and dislikes, hobbies, dreams, things like that." Naruto drawled, taking a leaf out of her teacher's book (not the orange one). "I'll start. My name's Naruto Uzumaki, I like ramen. What I like even more is the ramen at Ichiraku's and when Iruka-sensei buys it for me. I also love my precious people. What I dislike is the three minutes to wait for the ramen to boil and people who mess with my precious friends. My hobbies are pranking and training and my dream is to become the Hokage, but not any Hokage, the greatest Kage to ever become Hokage! One that surpasses all previous Hokages, dattebayo!"

Fu stared at the girl in front of him. What a ninja, so devoted to the things he calls his precious people. He realized that Naruto was waiting for him to introduce himself.

"Ah, my name's Fu, I'm not sure what I like exactly, I dislike the things in my former village. My hobbies are training and practicing to control the power of Nanabi. My dream…is to become a good kunoichi, I guess."

"You can't really become a kunoichi with the way you are, ya know…" Naruto trailed off.

Fu nodded. "Yeah, I know that. So let me rephrase, my dream is to become the greatest shinobi ever, ssu!"

"'Ssu'? What's that?"

"It's a speech tick! Like how you said dattebayo."

"Oh right! Hey, you said you could control your demon?"

"Ssu…Not really 'control' it entirely, just using its chakra is all."

"So, it's possible to control your demon?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Naruto contemplated all the benefits of being in control over Kyuubi. No one would get hurt, the villagers probably wouldn't hate her as much if she could control the beast inside and she would have more power to protect her friends and the village. Speaking of the village…

"Hey Fu." Naruto called out "What did ya mean when you said that you disliked the 'things' from your village?"

"_Former_ village, they threw me out, remember?" Fu corrected "The _things_ are those humans who rejected me and hated me my whole life…" his tone became angry with a hint of sadness. Naruto put a hand on his shoulder in reassurance, knowing and experiencing the same pain. Then it clicked.

"You mean the villagers? You call them _things_?" Naruto couldn't believe someone could have such a low opinion of humanity.

"Well when you put it that way…"

Determined to change Fu's opinion of the human race and to show her that jinchuurikis and humans weren't all that different, Naruto put on her henge and grabbed Fu's wrist and dragged him out their door.

"Where are we going?" Fu asked.

"We're going to the training grounds. My teammates are waiting for me there and I want to introduce you to them." Naruto replied. Fu scowled, he really didn't want to meet other things, even if they were friends with people like himself and Naruto-chan.

…

'The dobe's late.' Was the silent thought of a certain Uchiha, who was straining his Sharingan while successfully pushing back and controlling the dark chakra of the Curse Seal even though his sensei told him not to draw upon its power.

The blonde had excessively been on Sasuke's mind a lot lately. Since he could trust her not to say anything, he consulted Sakura. However that didn't work so well as Sakura always walked off giggling about something.

Team Seven took a break waiting for their third member while Sakura tried to heal most of Sasuke's minor injuries and Kakashi read his porn. By the time the orange-clad ninja came about, they found that he didn't come alone.

"Naruto, who's this?" Sakura asked.

"I thought you might ask that. This is Fu; Granny Tsunade told me he'll be staying with me till they get him a proper house. His village kicked him out." Naruto introduced.

"What kind of village just 'kicks out' one of their ninja?" Sasuke snorted.

"A village of haters!" Fu exclaimed, spreading his arms out in a 'glorious' fashion. His posture practically screamed 'Bitch-I'm-Fabulous!'

"I'm sorry, a village of what…?" Sakura was confused and slightly taken back by the Gai-ish way this guy was acting.

"Sakura-chan, don't you know? Haters gonna hate!" Naruto joined in.

Team Seven, minus Naruto, sweat-dropped at said teammate's and his new friend's behavior.

"Oh oh, Kakashi-sensei! Can Fu train with us today?" Naruto hopped excitedly while Fu nodded furiously.

"Naruto, this is team training. Team Seven trains with no one, especially foreigners." Sakura scolded.

Kakashi recognized just who Fu was. "Actually, I think we can make an exception for Fu-kun there." He said, flipping a page in his favorite book.

"Eh?" Sakura exclaimed while Naruto and Fu were crying "Yahoo, dattebayo/ssu!" while pumping their fists in the air.

Sasuke was silent. He didn't like the way the new guy stuck so close to Naruto as if they were best friends. Only _HE_ could be Naruto's best friend! Not Gaara, and certainly not this Fu guy. Wait…was he _jealous_ of Fu? No. Way. Sasuke Uchiha is not and never will be jealous of anyone, he'll just consider them his rival, yes that's it. Rivals for Naruto's friendship? No wait, did Sasuke actually want to be _more than best friends_ with Naruto? Now he felt sick.

Shaking his head to get rid of the weird thoughts involving his blonde teammate, Sasuke stood up and made his way over to the new guy. Standing defiantly face-to-face with Fu, Sasuke glared at him.

"You, me, we fight _now_." The onyx-eyed boy demanded. Fu smirked while Naruto and Sakura were confused. Kakashi sighed.

"Spar only. No killing or maiming." The Hatake said before getting back to his book.

The two boys nodded and made their way further out into the clearing where their spar started.

Naruto and Sakura watched in awe as Fu countered Sasuke's Sharingan with a sort of blinding light he blew out from his mouth. Sasuke was actually having difficulty with someone, true Fu was older by a year or two, but not many could boast they could one-up the famous Sharingan.

Sakura rooted for Sasuke while Naruto cheered for Fu. This seemed to piss Sasuke off for some reason. Fu's taijutsu was incredible, not fast like Lee and Gai's but the strength behind it and the Earth jutsus mixed in were just phenomenal. Sasuke felt like a giant bee was stinging him in his pride repeatedly every time Fu managed to knock him down.

Eventually Kakashi called them off their "play date". Sakura tended to Sasuke's injuries while Naruto hi-fived Fu. His plan to get Fu to open up a bit was working, even if slightly. He didn't think it would ever happen but Sasuke's acknowledgement of the green-haired boy was the first step in teaching Fu that not all humans are the same. The fight alone proved that, and the best part was that Naruto didn't even try! Funny right?

But now Sasuke was fuming. Big deal, he lost a couple other times, why is he so mad right now? Naruto knew he had to snap his best friend out of his anger before he hurts somebody.

…

Throughout dinner at Ichiraku's, Sasuke's glare never left the orange-eyed boy as Naruto showed Fu the wonders of ramen. Seriously, what was so great about Fu? Unlike Sasuke, Fu had only just met Naruto. Unlike Sasuke, Fu was just a simpleton. Unlike Sasuke, Fu has no special bond with Naruto. Unlike Sasuke, Fu doesn't understand the pain of tragedy! Right…? Now that Sasuke thought about it, there was nothing he knew about Fu.

Listening to Naruto and Fu's conversation, Sasuke noticed that not only Fu but also Naruto were avoiding a topic that would bring up something about their pasts. Does Naruto know something about Fu that they kept it a secret from the team? Why did he care anyways? Stuff like this was never supposed to be much of something to care about for Sasuke.

Dinner was over and they all went their separate ways, Sasuke still glaring at Fu until he and Naruto were out of sight.

…

The next morning, Fu was called to the Hokage's office so Naruto arrived at the team meeting alone. Kakashi was late (as usual) and Sakura had a morning shift at the hospital. Sasuke and Naruto stood alone against a tree waiting for their tardy teacher.

"Hey Sasuke-teme." Naruto addressed, trying to catch Sasuke's attention.

"…" Sasuke ignored him.

"Oi! Teme!"

"…"

"What the hell, asshole? Don't ignore me!"

"…"

"Teme…"

"…"

"What's wrong?"

"…Fu."

"Eh? What about Fu? He's a cool guy, are ya still sore about him beating you yesterday?" Naruto snickered.

"You're a little too buddy-buddy with him. Are you planning on replacing me? Tch, I knew you haven't forgiven me." Sasuke scowled sourly. Naruto frowned.

"You. Have. Got to be kidding me. Was that what this is all about? Look at yourself; you're acting like a bloody four-year-old! You're angry at me and Fu 'cuz you're _jealous_?!"

"I'm not jealo-"

"Yes you are, don't deny it! Sasuke, you _know _I will never replace you. Fu's a great guy to have as a friend but he's just that, a friend. You're my _best friend_. Why do you think I went through thick and thin just to get you back?"

"You…really mean that?" Sasuke asked, eyes wide.

"Of course, asshole. We're Best Buds Forever. I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sasuke gave a small smile, something he would let only Naruto see. "Thanks, dobe, I feel better now."

In truth, Sasuke did not feel better. His anger was gone but his chest hurt when Naruto said that they were just BFFs. It hurt worse than a bee stinging him.

…

**AN**

**And….CUT! That's a wrap for today people!**

**Sasuke just got friend zoned! Not for long anyways. I'm sorry to say that the next chapter might take a little longer to make because I'm no natural rapper and making rhymes with legit sentences is really hard.**

**But keep your pants (or skirts) on because in the next chappie, our favorite Bee (and friends) makes his grand entrance. Chapter 4 will be ****Rappers and Bishonens****! Ciao!**

**Dragonoiya**


	4. Rappers and Bishonens

Chapter 4

Rappers and Bishonens

Yugito was _pissed_. She turned into a GUY one morning and, while storming over to the Raikage's office, no one even gave her appearance a second glance! Although some people asked if she got a haircut recently. Did she really not look any different at all?

Entering the Raikage's office in rage, Yugito was faced with his worst nightmare. Killer Bee, a _female_ Killer Bee, _molesting _herself! Her brother, A, just sat there rubbing the bridge of his nose in shame. It was immoral for him, the Raikage, to hit a woman, but this was his brother-turned-sister, he really wanted to- no, he _needed_ to teach his sister a lesson. Luckily, Yugito did it for him.

As soon as Yugito came in and saw the scene, he ran forward and jump-kicked Bee in the face screaming "Stop fondling your own chest!" Bee flew out of the office and into oblivion, hopefully never to be seen again.

The Raikage sighed and silently congratulated Yugito. Now that he had someone who could explain to him what happened to his brother without ogling at themselves…

"Yugito, you seem to know what happened to Bee, do you mind explaining?" it sounded more of an order than a question.

"Lord Raikage, Bee and I have somehow…changed. The cause is unknown. In all honesty, I came here in hopes that you might understand and explain our predicament."

A looked at Yugito, observing him from top to toe.

"You changed too? I thought you just had a new haircut…" he muttered. Unfortunately Yugito caught that. Then he ordered "Find the cause and interrogate them if they're humans. The rest is your problem to figure out."

Yugito's jaw dropped. "Lord Raikage, you can't be serious! How can we find the cause when we have no leads? Bee and I-"

"It's _only _Bee and you." A interrupted "And you're both jinchuurikis, don't you think your leads start with other jinchuurikis?"

"Lord Raikage, what makes you think the others will co-operate with us?"

"You don't know until you try."

"But-"

"Dismissed!"

Yugito sighed, he knew he wouldn't win this argument if it was with A; no one _ever_ won an argument with the hot-tempered Raikage.

…

Just a few hours later, Yugito arrived at the Cloud Village gates to set off on his 'special mission' to talk to the other jinchuurikis. To his dismay, he found Bee there.

"Bee, don't tell me you're coming too…" Yugito trailed off in despair, knowing that would be a stupid question.

"Yo Yugi, you're a perv like me. So don't go kicking me to the places you don't see, fool ya fool." Bee rapped.

"Uh….What?"

"My biggest dream was a middle-aged woman's chest, and these big bombs can't compare to the rest." Bee indicated to her bosom, which could easily rival that of Tsunade's.

"Are you saying I _wanted _to be a guy?!"

"… (wait for it)…YEEEAAHHH!" Bee received a smack upside her head.

"Damn you, just so you know. I. Don't. Like. This. Just because you do doesn't mean I do too. Just shut up and let's go. And NO touching yourself on the way."

And thus began a long and torturous journey Yugito had to suffer. 'No way are we going to gain anyone's help with Killer Bee around' was always Yugito's trail of thought as they traveled to Fire country, more specifically Takigakure where the Nanabi demon host resided, as that was the closest from Kumo.

…

Standing in front of Taki's village leader Yugito couldn't help but suddenly want Killer Bee's help with this. Sure he specifically told her not to rap or talk or make a sound in any way while he negotiated, but the leader in front of him didn't look like a person that was easy to talk to.

The guy looked like he was going to piss his pants when he saw the big hulk-like build Bee had even though she was female. His image practically boasted timid and it did not help that he stammered when addressing his subjects. This might be easy or not to get what the Kumo nins wanted depending on just how scared Shibuki was.

"Lord Shibuki, My comrade and I have journeyed all the way from Kumogakure in search of help that only your jinchuuriki can give us." Yugito said respectfully while kneeling before the village leader.

Shibuki's face turned serious and he frowned, completely different from the look he had just a few seconds ago. His expression now showed anger. Anger was an understatement; he had a look of _pure rage_! But the emotion showed only in his eyes. His lips, however, were turned into a fake smile.

"Oh that _demon_?" he spit the word 'demon' like it was poison and it was on fire. "Yeah, the _demon_ was sent to Konoha because he was creating a riot and destroying village property claiming he had once been a girl and someone had 'mysteriously' changed him into a male. Funny, right? Who would believe such an unconvincing story like that?"

The Kumo ninjas shifted uncomfortably. It seemed like even the village leader didn't care to know just who their jinchuuriki was. They never expected this man to be one of those people who hated demons and their hosts with all of their soul. It might've been understandable though; people like him often had tragedy with anything involving bijuus. For now, they just had to play dumb until they left the village, hopefully after Shibuki figures out who they are.

"Oh is that so?" Yugito asked, a fake smile plastered on his face and sending mental thoughts to Killer Bee to do the same. "Well, we're sorry to have taken up your time my lord. We'll leave immediately."

Shibuki squinted at the two ninjas in suspicion, then he said "All right, you may go. And might I suggest ending the miserable life of the _demon_ when you're finished with him? He's been through so much and he's probably _begging_ for execution in Konoha right now." And with that, his face returned to the timid and shy nature that he was famous in his village for. Talk about bipolar.

As soon as they were out of Taki's gates, Yugito and Killer Bee broke into a run, getting as far away as they could from the village.

"That was close; if we stayed anymore long we'd be dead and gone!" Bee rapped as Yugito let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"I didn't think the life of a jinchuuriki outside Lightning Country was so hard. Even the village leader hated him, he was technically asking us to kill the Nanabi host just for spite!" Yugito yelled, anger and sadness evident in his voice.

"I know you're about to break a tear, but don't you think we have a problem here?"

Yugito snapped back to reality, finding said problem floating on the surface of his mind.

"Oh shit. How're we going to get inside Konoha? We're not exactly best buds with Leaf ninjas."

"Don't worry Yugi, while you were moping and depressed I made up a plan so be at rest!"

"I have a bad feeling about this…"

…

"Bee, I never thought I would ever say this but…You're a fucking GENIUS!" Yugito exclaimed.

"…Yugito, did you just swear?"

"…Bee, did you just _not_ rap?"

"Touché, fool ya fool."

Yugito and Killer Bee were currently standing outside an apartment door. The occupants beyond this particular door were Naruto Uzumaki and Fu, but the Kumo ninjas didn't know that. They only knew that the Nanabi jinchuuriki was in there.

"I didn't even know you could do that." Yugito mused.

"Neither did I, it just came to me in the blink of the eye."

"That sort of thing could easily have been used for invasion during wars!"

"...Let's not dwell on that chow right now, fool ya fool."

The door snapped open, revealing a thirteen-year-old blonde girl dressed in bright orange. Judging by her hitai-ate, the Kumo ninjas identified her as a Leaf kunoichi. Good thing they removed theirs to avoid that problem.

"Now who the hell is making a ruckus outside my-….Who the hell are you people?" she yelled.

Now if only they could ask for the jinchuuriki without directly stating that he was a jinchuuriki and without blowing their covers. That was Yugito's thought, Killer Bee just threw out the consequences.

"Yo yo little blonde girl with the swirl, it's just us Killer Bee and Yugito Nii." She rapped "We just wanna know if you know a guy, with a seven tailed demon and can probably fly."

"Uh…What?" was Naruto's intelligent reply.

"You IDIOT!" Yugito yelled while punching Bee "You totally blew our cover!"

Naruto squinted at the two older ninjas in suspicion. A female rapper with breasts the size of Tsunade's and a bishonen who had the same level of maturity as Sakura, nope not suspicious at all. The Bee person mentioned a seven tailed demon, was she talking about Fu?

"Hey! Who are you? If you're looking for Fu-kun and you're from Taki, then you can get the hell out! No one messes with my friend!" Naruto yelled.

"Ah no, we're not from Taki." Yugito explained, looking sheepish. Since Bee already ruined their covert, he might as well explain everything to the blonde. Besides, if she knew this Fu guy was a jinchuuriki then she probably wasn't a demon hater, if her claims of him being her friend were anything to go by.

"Look, we have a problem and we think that if we talk to another demon host, we might find a clue to solve it." He continued.

"What sorta problem?"

Yugito sucked in a breath and started explaining about his and Bee's gender swap predicament while Naruto's azure eyes had grown considerably wider. When Yugito was finished, Naruto's jaw was hanging.

"Y-you're the same as us!" she exclaimed.

"Pardon me, what?"

"You two are jinchuurikis, just like me and Fu!"

"_Fu and I_." Yugito corrected.

"No, me and Fu. You didn't even know Fu till just now."

Yugito sighed. He wondered if the blonde girl's bijuu affected her intelligence. But it seemed this girl was a jinchuuriki and gender-bent as well. No wonder she didn't hate demons.

"It's good to know you're a host too, but could we come inside and discuss this with Fu?" Bee finally spoke.

Naruto, although skeptical about letting strangers into her house, complied and made way for them to pass.

Fu sat at the table in Naruto's kitchen slurping a cup of ramen. When he saw their guests, he knitted his eyebrows together in a face of confusion. Upon explaining who they were and why they were here, Fu's face brightened at the thought of new friends who were the same as him.

…

Sasuke Uchiha had a sudden urge to go visit Naruto. This wasn't the first time he felt like this, the other times he resisted the feeling but now it was all pent up and ready to burst. After thinking things over, Sasuke came to the conclusion that he was gay…for Naruto.

It was strange; he didn't feel anything for any other guys, only Naruto. While his affections for the blonde were understandable, it was unneeded and shameful. He was an avenger; Sasuke didn't need petty things like _love_. It was also shameful of him, Sasuke Uchiha, one of the last Uchihas, to be gay. It certainly made his clan members roll in their graves.

That was why Sasuke was storming over to the dobe's house to release his frustration.

…

"So, do any of you know what happened to get you this way?" Yugito asked.

Fu and Naruto contemplated this, searching the deepest depths of their minds for a crucial clue.

"Hmmm….I got nothing, I have no idea just how I got like this!" Fu pouted.

"That's fine, bro. You just need time, yo! What about you, Naruto?" Bee rapped.

"I…think I...got it." Naruto said slowly.

All attention turned to the blonde girl as the other three ninjas scooted closer to her.

"What? Do you know what, or who, is the cause?" Yugito asked, frantic to get an answer.

"Well," Naruto started "I'm not entirely sure, and it's kinda vague, but I think someone did it. I had a lot going on in my mind so I couldn't remember before but now that I think about it… I remember seeing this guy in a black cloak with red clouds on it. But he disappeared shortly after so I didn't think much of it then."

"What does that mean, then?"

"Whoever did this is pulling our legs, then cutting our nerves and hangin' them on pegs." Bee rapped.

"What?" Naruto was never able to grasp half of what Bee said.

"Just ignore her." Yugito sighed.

A knock on the door alerted them to a visitor. Naruto, telling her guests to keep quiet, went out to answer it. To her surprise it was Sasuke.

"Sasuke-teme! What the hell are you doing here?" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke stared at Naruto's female form. For some reason, he liked it even more. Perhaps he wasn't gay, nor was he straight either, it was just Naruto. Naruto caught him looking at her and realized she wasn't wearing her henge.

"I'm still practicing the Sexy Jutsu, damn you. It's not like I have it on every waking second I'm home!" she made up an excuse for the unasked question.

Naruto then saw the hungry look in Sasuke's eyes. Huh? If the teme was so hungry, then maybe she could invite the bastard inside for some ramen…

Suddenly, said bastard's lips locked with her's. Sasuke. Uchiha. Was. Kissing her. And kiss her, Sasuke did while his hands cupped her cheek and held her head closer to his, for a whopping twenty seconds until he broke the kiss and then disappeared, leaving behind a very stunned Naruto.

Did Sasuke just do what she thought he just did? Naruto's head began to hurt so she went back inside to face a concerned bishonen, a happy-go-lucky boy, and a rapping…rapper.

…

Sasuke could've punched himself. He just kissed the dobe while in his female form! Since said dobe did not kiss back, Sasuke could only assume his feelings for the blonde were one-sided. And that he just jeopardized their friendship. Gah! What an idiot he was!

Sasuke visited Naruto and kissed him in hopes of releasing his pressure. Now he just felt worse. Perhaps Naruto will let him explain tomorrow. Sasuke wasn't quite ready to confess yet but that kiss had already done the damage.

…

**AN**

**Well, this chapter took a shorter amount of time than I expected. Sorry if Killer Bee's dialogues sucked. I'm not much of a rapper so….yeah you get it.**

**Here we have Sasuke trying to get out of the friend zone (you go, Sasuke!). Let's see how sasufemnaru progresses in the next chapter. Oh gaafu will come about next chapter too.**

**Take your socks off and put your Crocs on people (from Iron Man 2, see?), next chapter we'll go to Water Country where we meet the Mizukage and her trusty fellow missing nin, Utakata. Some utayugi here and…I got nothing for Yagura (sorry). See ya next chappie!**

**Dragonoiya**


	5. Wet with Water, Dry with Sand

Chapter 5

Wet with Water, Dry with Sand

Utakata glanced at her unlikely companion. Just a few weeks ago, she- or rather, he- might have pounced on and killed said companion. However this was not the case as of now because of the fact that they now floated in the same boat, both metaphorically and physically.

Yagura, Fourth Mizukage and host to the Sanbi demon, had faced the same fate as her companion, Utakata, missing nin from Kirigakure and host to the Rokubi demon. During most of his reign, Yagura had been manipulated by a man known as Madara. When he had suddenly changed into a girl one night Madara's control seemed to have been revoked, letting the little pink-eyed man- or woman- regain control of herself.

Unfortunately, that was the time Utakata decided to strike. Utakata had waged war on the Mizukage, believing him- or her- to be the cause of her gender switch. Through all the chaos and confusion, Yagura somehow lost her title as Mizukage and gained the new status of 'missing nin'. Things were happening so suddenly and so fast Yagura was unable to process it all, having just woken up from a mind-control session. Utakata, realizing none of whatever happened was the former Mizukage's fault, grabbed the confused woman and high-tailed it out into the seas on her trusty small house-boat.

After a recount of all the events and political issues that had happened in the Mist since the start of Yagura's reign, Utakata left the stunned jinchuuriki to think things over.

For the next week, the two demon hosts had been fighting off hunter-nins that came to retrieve them back to the Mist. Yagura wasn't sure she wanted to go back to the Mist. She was racked with guilt and shame she wasn't able to protect her village, being the Mizukage. The new Mizukage hadn't been picked yet, but rumors went around that a woman known as Mei Terumi was a likely candidate for the position of Kage. Yagura hoped Mei would be a better leader than she would ever be.

When the demon duo thought that all the visitors they would ever get were hunter-nins, they were proved wrong when two Kumo ninjas found them and wanted to engage in conversation with them rather than try to steal their power.

…

"Gaara…it hasn't even been a week and you're already back for a visit?" Naruto sweat dropped as she found the red head standing outside her apartment door the morning after Aunt Bee and Uncle Yugi left.

"I'm sorry; I just wanted to meet the other one." Gaara apologized with an almost emotionless face.

"You came here just to meet Fu? I think he's in the shower right now but I guess you can meet him when he's done."

"Thank you." And with that, Gaara entered the small apartment and seated herself at the table.

Naruto sighed. It's great that Gaara's actually making an effort to make friends but she could at least branch out, starting with the ninjas of Suna and not other demon hosts.

"Look Gaara, I gotta go to my team's meeting. When Fu-kun comes out of his shower, tell him where I've gone, 'kay?" Gaara nodded in understanding.

Naruto disappeared from her apartment, heading for the usual meeting place where Kakashi would give them their mission. Gaara sat quietly hearing, if she strained, the sound of water falling onto a tiled floor in the bathroom.

Time passed and the bathroom's occupant finally came out, dressed in only his pants while rubbing his hair with his towel. Gaara stared at him, slightly blushing when she saw his shirtless form. When Fu realized the person sitting at the table was not Naruto he was startled to find a red haired girl with dark red robes.

"Uhh…Who are you?" he asked.

"Sorry for the intrusion but Naruto let me in, she said she went out for her team meeting. I came here to meet you." Gaara replied, struggling to keep her composure with a wet and shirtless jinchuuriki.

"You came here…to meet me?"

"From Sunagakure, yes."

"I'm…flattered?"

"I'd just like to meet more people like myself and Naruto."

"You mean you're also a…?"

"Yes, I am."

Suddenly Fu's face came a lot closer to Gaara's, closer than what Gaara was comfortable with.

"That's great! We can talk about all kinds of things. How many is yours?" he exclaimed.

"…One." Gaara blushed. She wasn't used to anyone being so close before, even her siblings respected her personal space. There was Naruto, but she was the same sex as her so it didn't bother the red head. Now a guy here, the opposite sex, that was a different matter.

"That's cool. Mine is seven. Does yours give you any special powers?"

"I can…control sand…"

"Wow, really?"

Gaara couldn't stand it. A guy, a hot one in her opinion, was sitting right across from her, his face mere inches from her's. Before she knew it, she was hyperventilating. Fu stared at her in confusion and concern.

"Oh! I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were the kind of person who took their personal bubble seriously." Fu apologized, his head retreating back out of Gaara's said bubble.

"It's…okay…" the red head wheezed. It was going to be much harder talking to this demon host than Gaara ever anticipated.

…

"So an old guy who was supposed to be dead and another guy, who could also be the same person, in a black cloak with red clouds." Yugito mused as he sipped his tea that Utakata had made for them "Those are our leads on whatever made us like _this_."

"Madara and Akatsuki." Yagura stated.

"Akatsuki?"

"An organization full of criminally insane S-Class missing-nins from all over the Elemental Nations. Their goals are, as of yet, unknown."

"Missing-nins, that's just great. I don't expect them to change us back over tea and crumpets!"

"Yugi, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Just enjoy yourself with your down south!" Killer Bee rapped. Yugito smacked Bee's head for the umpteenth time that day.

"Was she always like this? Or did the gender switch change her somehow?" Utakata whispered in Yugito's ear, who then sighed.

"Believe me, this isn't even _half_ bad of what she said back when she was male." Yugito whispered back.

Utakata shuddered, partly because of the image of a pervy male Bee flying across her mind, partly because Yugito's whisper in her ear felt…good. Oh dear lord no, she hoped Killer Bee's perverted antics weren't starting to rub off on her. But she admittedly thought that Yugito was quite attractive. Did that mean she was lesbian because Yugito could still be a girl at heart, or gay because she could still be a guy at heart? Either way, an attraction was still an attraction. Perhaps it would go away when the Kumo ninjas did.

…

When Naruto arrived at the meeting place, she found it empty. Kakashi, she could understand, Sakura was at a hospital shift again but Sasuke…It was usually Sasuke she found first at the meeting place. Then she remembered the events that had transpired last night, Sasuke kissing her, and blushed at the thought of it.

Was that why the Uchiha was late today? More importantly, that kiss meant something to Sasuke but what did it mean to her? If what the Uchiha boy did to her last night indicated that he felt something for her, would she feel the same for him? Until now, Naruto had only looked at Sasuke as her best friend or brother. But now she didn't know what to feel. She thought about asking Sakura but that girl was suddenly all about hooking Naruto and Sasuke up, first as a yaoi couple, then as just a normal couple. Naruto didn't want to hook up with Sasuke; she wanted to sort out her feelings.

Before Naruto could ponder more over her thoughts, a raven duck-ass hairstyle made its presence known before the blonde short spiky henged one. Sasuke Uchiha had made his way to face the dobe, while said dobe didn't even notice until his face was in front of her's. Naruto was, at first, startled at his sudden appearance and then caught herself. Playing dumb, Naruto put on a scowl.

"Oi teme, what the hell? Not only did you sneak up in front of me but you're also late!" she yelled.

"…Dobe, what kind of ninja are you to let someone sneak up i_n front of you?_" Sasuke mocked, smirking.

"You bastard."

Sasuke sighed and lost his smirk. "Naruto, stop pretending."

"Eh?"

"I know what you were thinking about earlier. It's pretty obvious."

"Oh okay then. So are you gonna explain to me what that was all about?"

Sasuke scowled. "I…wasn't in my right mind…"

"…_That's_ your excuse? Are you serious? I expected better from the _great Sasuke Uchiha._"

"Dobe… are you mad?"

"Of course I'm mad, teme! Not only did you steal my first kiss, you also stole my second!"

"Tch. It's not like I _wanted_ to."

"So what? You were controlled by Orochimaru or something?"

Sasuke stiffened at the name. Naruto stopped talking; at least she knew when to shut up.

"Sorry…" she apologized. Several minutes of silence passed between them. Then Naruto gathered her courage to tell her best friend her secret. Well at least one of them. "Uh…Can I…?"

"What?" Naruto slightly flinched at his tone, he was annoyed.

"Sasuke, I've got something to say. And don't you dare laugh! On the morning of that day we made up, I had…changed. Don't get me wrong, I'm still Naruto! But my body faced…like a physical change."

"Dobe, are you talking about puberty? Yeah I already know that, but aren't you a little late?"

Naruto sighed in frustration. "Oh for heaven's sake… RELEASE!" a puff of smoke indicated to a released henge. When the smoke cleared, where Naruto once stood was the female version of him. Sasuke gaped, mouth wide open.

"Ya see, Sasuke? My 'Sexy Jutsu' the past few days wasn't really the 'Sexy Jutsu'. It was just an act to cover my real self up because that morning I changed into A FUCKING GIRL, DATTE-FUCKING-BAYO!" Naruto forcibly confessed.

Sasuke stared at Naruto, an awkward silence weighing in between them. Then Sasuke did something that went completely out of his character. He started laughing. Naruto fumed.

"What the hell, bastard? Why the fuck are you laughing at me?!"

"Ahahaha! Y-yo-you…Hahaha!" Sasuke couldn't stop laughing at Naruto's demise, while said blonde had steam bubbling from her bright blonde head.

Just as Naruto was about to pounce on Sasuke and beat the shit out of him, Kakashi appeared with a puff of smoke.

"Yo! Did I miss anything?" he greeted cheerfully but raised a brow at a laughing Sasuke and female Naruto.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei, you _missed_ everything." Naruto growled. It wasn't exactly true; Kakashi was watching and listening to the two genin's exchange.

"Well, I'm glad you both are getting along much better now." Kakashi eye-smiled, then proceeded to hand them their mission.

…

Gaara and Fu sat in awkward silence, staring at each other. Both were wishing their favorite blonde knucklehead to come back early and fix this suffocating awkward situation.

But as Lady Luck was so cruel, said blonde knucklehead did not crash down the door to rescue her fellow jinchuurikis. So they were stuck with making the best of things and tried to start a conversation.

"So Fu…when are you going to put your shirt back on?" Gaara asked.

Fu looked down and realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Chuckling sheepishly he grabbed his dry shirt folded behind his chair and put it on.

"Sorry, it just feels so new not wearing a shirt or bra while not being classified as a flasher." He apologized.

Gaara nodded, blushing. She realized she would never have that sort of comfort anymore, unless they found a cure to their condition. Not that she used to walk around shirtless when she was a guy, haha, no way.

After their very brief exchange, the two jinchuurikis went back to their awkward silence and wishful thinking once again.

…

Utakata was having mixed feelings. The Kumo ninjas were staying over for the night at her house-boat. Apparently, there was still much to discuss on the topic of the man known as 'Madara'. The Rokubi jinchuuriki just wanted the ninjas to leave, especially Yugito. The blond male had some sort of strange power over her. 'Attraction.' She told herself 'I'm just attracted to him. It's nothing more, nothing less. When he leaves it will be gone.' But every minute Yugito stayed in Utakata's sight, her 'attraction' for him was growing to the point where the word 'attraction' was just an understatement.

Yugito, on his part, felt slightly uncomfortable with the half-hearted glares Utakata was sending his way. What did he ever do to her? Had she caught him staring at her whenever her figure showed through her blue kimono? He couldn't help it, he was a guy. And, like most guys, he tended to take an interest in the opposite sex. Yugito hoped that his 'interests' would only last until he turned back to normal. God forbid he turned back into a girl only to find herself as a homosexual.

Yagura could barely tolerate Utakata's neat-freak fetishes. Listening to Killer Bee's rapping just crossed the line. Now she understood why Yugito was always so snappy with this rapper.

"Yo Yagura don't yo turtle got no fin? Just how did Mizukage end up a missin'-nin?" she rapped.

"In all honesty, Bee, I have absolutely no idea." Yagura sighed, testing her patience against the weird and sometimes illogical rap verses.

"Don't get your panties all in a bunch. We'll crunch and munch this sucker for lunch like he was Sunday's punch!"

"Uh…what?"

"Madara ain't got shit on our bit, especially Kyuubi's kit. And as luck would have it, she's tightly knit to throw a fit so Akatsuki can't do shit."

"…Are you saying the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki is our trump card in finding and defeating Akatsuki, and then forcing them to change us back?"

"You said it."

"My head hurts from trying to translate what you're saying. I'm going to sleep." And with that, the former Mizukage retreated into her futon to get some much needed rest.

The others followed her and so ended an interesting night in Kirigakure.

…

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called out when she saw her raven haired teammate on his way home. She noticed his usually dark mood to be considerably brighter now. She also noticed that smirk Sasuke always wore when things went right for him and was immediately suspicious.

"Sakura." Sasuke acknowledged. Sakura squinted her emerald green eyes at him in suspicion.

"Did something good happen, Sasuke-kun? You seem a lot happier than usual."

Sasuke's smirk grew. Sakura then understood why Naruto always hated that. It was _infuriating!_

"I found out Naruto's secret." The pinkette's eyes widened.

"So...you know?" Sakura asked, though she already knew the answer. However, she didn't expect her answer to be a laughter burst from the Uchiha.

"Hahaha! This…This is too much! Hahahahaha!" And with that, Sasuke left for home, still chuckling.

Sakura inwardly groaned. She had expected Sasuke to give Naruto a romantic kiss when he found out she was a girl or something. Well a girl can dream can't she?

…

**AN**

**Too bad, Sasuke has a long way to go… The scene with Gaara and Fu was rather…um…awkward. And Utakata can't sort out her 'attractions' for Yugito and Yugi is just downright scared of Utakata.**

**Well, that's it for now. See ya next chapter!**

**Dragonoiya**


	6. Dragons and Crows

Chapter 6

Dragons and Crows

"Yo, Naruto!" a highly familiar voice rang out above Naruto. Said blonde looked up from her comfortable place in the female side of the bathhouse. She saw a tall man with waist-length, spiky white hair tied back into a pony tail staring at her and smiling like an idiot.

"Oh, hey Ero-sennin." Naruto greeted, a perverted giggle coming from Jiraiya. Then she realized what she was and, with the sort of speed that would shame the Yondaime Hokage's Hiraishin, a towel was wrapped around her and her teacher's back was on the floor, face being stepped on.

"Oi, what the hell are you doing here, Ero-sennin?" Naruto growled, rubbing her foot in his face. Her answer was muffled incoherent words. Grabbing her teacher by the collar she dragged Jiraiya out of the bathhouse, towel still on. Unfortunately there weren't any other women there to give the perverted hermit his deserved punishment.

"Wow, you sure got settled in to the woman's life _already!_" Jiraiya mused.

Dropping her teacher unceremoniously on the floor, Naruto crossed her arms and tapped her foot while the Sannin rubbed his head.

"Geez, I came all the way back here just to see my favorite student and this is how I'm treated? I'm heartbroken Naru-chan."Jiraiya wept.

"Cut the crap, Ero-sennin. I know you only came here just to see my 'condition' and use it to do your 'research'." The blonde snarled.

"Whoa, hold it there tiger. I'm just concerned for you because you're my precious student and your…change must obviously be causing you some distress. But since you look perfectly fine to me, I must say you are quite the-"

Jiraiya didn't get to finish his sentence when Naruto threw a bucket at his head. "So you _did_ come here to do research!"

"Ouch lady, are you on your PMS or something?"

Naruto's expression changed from one of rage to one of confusion. "PMS? What's that?" she asked.

The color drained from the Toad Sage's face. Oh no, he _did not w_ant to explain the birds and the bees to his student, who had turned into a girl.

"Uh…Why don't you ask Tsunade-hime? She can explain it to you in a way you'll understand."

"Are you saying I'm stupid?"

"NO! No. I'm saying it's…hard for me to explain. Yes, go ask Tsunade, she knows."

"Okay, then." Naruto turned back to the bathhouse to put some clothes on.

"LATER! You can ask her later. Right now, we need to talk."

"If this is about 'research' for your pervy books…"

"I swear on my Super Pervert Code, it's not."

"Super Pervert Code…"

"ANYWAYS, I'll be frank about this. Naruto, would you like to come on a training trip with me?"

Naruto was silent for a few seconds. "…So this _is_ for 'resear-"

"Dammit, it's not research! Do you want to become stronger or not?"

The blonde ninja grinned her trademark Uzumaki grin. "I'll take you up on your offer then, Ero-sennin!"

"Don't call me that! It's _Jiraiya-sensei_ to you. Now go get packed, it's a _long_ trip."

"Whatever, Hentai-sensei."

…

"You and Kisame weren't able to do it, so what makes you think you and I will?" Kyoko asked, annoyance etched on her face.

"We work with each other best. With you, we may actually have a chance against the Toad Sannin." Itachi replied. The two missing-nins were walking towards Konoha, Akatsuki cloaks flapping around their knees while their straw hats covered their faces.

"Is that a compliment?"

The Uchiha shrugged. "Depends on how you look at it."

"I guess." They continued on in silence. After a while Kyoko spoke, "But I still don't get why me? You and Kisame get along _perfectly_ fine!"

"Oh? Are you jealous?" Itachi mocked

"Shut up…" Kyoko muttered, blushing.

Itachi chuckled. He found Kyoko really cute when she was tsundere-like. It was rather risky taking her with him to Konoha to attempt another capture of the Nine-Tails jinchuuriki. If his foolish little brother found out he had a girlfriend, his plans would mess up, depending on how said foolish little brother reacted to it. There was also the thing about Kyoko and her unwavering love for her little cousin, no matter how many times she denied it. She had taken the latest news about jinchuurikis rather harshly (but didn't show it), so Itachi feared what she might do if she ever met Naruto in person.

…

Sasuke was panting and sweating and almost chakra depleted while Kakashi kept coming at him with his Sharingan activated. Forcing himself to keep his own Sharingan activated, Sasuke dodged and parried fists thrust at him.

After a few more minutes of tiring training, Kakashi called out a break. The Uchiha fell down on his back and just lay there, resting and not moving. Kakashi moved to his side, curiosity showing through his visible eye, not that Sasuke could see it from his angle.

"So Sasuke…" the masked ninja started "What do you think of Naruto's…you know…"

Sasuke's face twisted into a twisted sort of smile, as if he was preventing himself from laughing. "Just so damn hilarious."

Kakashi mentally sighed. So much for hoping, the other jonins pestered him to no end about the Uzumaki and Uchiha.

"Lay it easy on the poor girl. Let's see how you feel if you're the one who would ever turn into a girl." Kakashi scolded.

"Like I could."

"I suppose you're right, but still…"

"…Kakashi, if Naruto's turned into a girl then does that mean she's…?"

"What does it mean, I wonder?"

Sasuke bit back a scowl. Damn his teacher for making him say it. "Does that mean she's…like that Gaara…a monster?"

Kakashi's lone eye darted to his student, sending him thought signals and berating him for his choice of words. "She's no monster, Sasuke. You, of all people, should know that."

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction. "Yeah I know that." He said. "Sorry."Was the almost unheard mutter that followed.

"Sasuke, your second ambition is to restore your clan, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Who are you going to choose to help you complete it?"

"What do you mean? I don't need anyone's help."

Kakashi's eyes popped out. "Asexual reproduction? My, Sasuke-kun, I didn't think you'd be one of those types of people."

"What?"

"You're a she-male! No wonder you had attraction to neither Sakura nor Naruto back when she was a boy!"

"What? I'm not a she-male!"

"Well, how else are you going to restore your clan without anyone's help?"

"I…I…How _do_ I restore my clan?"

Kakashi face-palmed right there and then. This kid believed he was going to revive his clan and he didn't even know how to do it. Well, this was nothing a little Icha Icha can't fix.

…

That night an orange-clad blonde ninja was found outside a hotel, packed and waiting for her perverted teacher to come out and take her on that training trip.

'I feel like I'm forgetting something.' Naruto mused. 'Oh well, I'm sure it could wait later.'

Leaving her home to the care of Fu, hearty goodbyes and lots of crying went underway as the blonde left her fellow jinchuuriki for what she would presume to be a few years. But as she waited for Jiraiya, she couldn't help but forget something _crucially_ important.

As she mulled over what she might have missed, two figures appeared behind her. One was shorter and appeared to be a female with bright red hair and snake-like eyes; the other was a raven haired male with red eyes that had three spinning tomoes in each. Both wore black cloaks with red clouds.

As the female reached out a hand to grab the blonde, a shout came from above "Naruto! Get outta here!" before Jiraiya fell to his hands and feet on the ground in a frog-like position between Akatsuki and Naruto. Seals spread out from under the Toad Sage as the Akatsuki jumped back a fair distance from the cloud of smoke that followed.

Once the smoke cleared a giant magenta toad with black markings on his face, arms, and legs with horn like protrusions on his head appeared. He towered over buildings and trees and his size was comparable to Gamabunta. He held a sasumata and a sakazuki shield in his webbed hands.

"Whoa, it's a giant toad!" Naruto exclaimed, standing on said toad's head and then frowning. "Why can't I summon big guns like this so easily?"

"The name's Gamaken, kid, but you can call me Ken. I don't think I can be much use, Jiraiya-kun, I'm awfully clumsy…"

"Really, Ero-sennin? You choose the clumsy one?"

"Don't listen to Ken's modesty claims, brat. That's just how he is." Jiraiya defended.

Of course the two missing-ninjas didn't waste time listening to the toad summoners' banter. In almost no time Kyoko's hand flashed through the hands signs needed for the Summoning Jutsu. Biting her thumb, drawing blood, she slammed her hands on the ground crying out "Kuchiyose No Jutsu!"

A burst of smoke sounded, drawing the attention of the giant toad and its contractors. Out from the smoke came an armored dragon-like creature with feathered wings; it had six legs but stood on four, the front two carrying a sword in one clawed hand and a shield in the other. Around its neck hung a necklace of magatama not all that different from the Rikudou Sennin's.

"What the hell is that?!" Naruto exclaimed in awe. In the back of her mind she somehow found the red head to be familiar, like she had seen her somewhere before.

Kyoko smirked from her place atop the head of the dragon creature. "This, kid, is Ninigi."

"You sure love to show off, don't you?" Itachi commented as he stood beside Kyoko on Ninigi's head.

"It's a good feeling to have once in a while." The red head replied.

Without warning, Ken brought down his sasumata on Ninigi full force, trying to pierce through his armor. Ninigi brought up his shield and parried his attack. Itachi ran along Ninigi's arm and, flashing through hand seals while jumping up so he was in range, he blew out a massive fireball in Jiraiya's direction.

Countering the jutsu with the Water Gun technique, Jiraiya hardened his hair to the consistency of steel with his chakra and flung out small needle-like bits of them. Kyoko summoned two swords; one in each hand, from the seals engraved on her forearms underneath her sleeves and deflected each needle skillfully. Ninigi and Ken were wrestling each other at bouts of strength, their swords and shield blocked by the other. Ken kicked out at the dragon-like creature while Ninigi scratched and pushed with his middle set of legs.

Jiraiya turned around on Ken to check on Naruto, distracted by the red head's use of sealing jutsu. He found Itachi almost upon her from behind. But when the older Uchiha grabbed at the blonde, a puff of smoke alerted him that she was not the real one. Looking around on the struggling giant toad, Itachi found both his target and her white-haired teacher on the rooftop of the hotel.

All around the ninjas and their summons, civilians were fleeing the fight scene. Ninjas of different ranks appeared too but, seeing Akatsuki and one of the Sannin handling it, they decided to stand back and wait to intervene when needed. Itachi and Kyoko jumped back on their place on top of Ninigi.

"Jiraiya, hand over Naruto Uzumaki and there won't be trouble." Kyoko demanded, holding out her hand in a gesture of negotiation.

"What, you think I'm stupid? There's no way I'd do that! And, in case you haven't noticed, you're the one at a disadvantage." Jiraiya motioned to all the ninjas surrounding them.

"He's right, we do have a predicament." Itachi said calmly to his partner, who shrugged.

"It was worth trying. Ninigi, fly us outta here."

"Of course, Kyoko-sama." Ninigi said as he flapped his wings and prepared for flight, taking the two Akatsuki ninjas with him. The surrounding ninja threw kunai and shuriken at it but none could pierce the armor. When they were out of sight they left the scene, most reporting to the Hokage and Gamaken disappeared back to Mount Myoboku.

As soon as they left, Sasuke and Kakashi arrived at the scene, the former looking more drained of energy than the latter.

"What happened here? Was that Itachi?" Sasuke managed to ask between heavy breaths.

This snapped Naruto out of her daze from watching Ninigi fly away and she turned her attention to her raven haired teammate.

"Yeah, I'm okay, thanks for asking, teme." Naruto confirmed sarcastically.

"He was after you again, wasn't he?"

"…Yeah."

Then Sasuke came closer to the blonde and grabbed her shoulders. "Then I must never leave you alone! He'll definitely come back for you. And when he does, I'll avenge my clan!"

Naruto smacked his hands off her shoulder in rage. "Is that all I am to you? Itachi bait?!"

Sasuke looked surprised, then his face turned back to one of determination. "No! I just want to _protect_ you from the likes of that man!"

It was Naruto's turn to look surprised. "Protect…me?"

"As romantic as this is," Jiraiya cut in, "I'm afraid that _I'm_ the one protecting little Naru-hime here, as well as teach her to fight for her own life. Sorry to burst your bubble, Uchiha."

Sasuke scowled when Jiraiya referred to Naruto as a 'princess' and Kakashi mentally sighed at the drama and romance of today's youth.

"Oh that's right! Now I remember!" Naruto exclaimed as her fist dropped into the palm of her other hand. "I'm leaving with Ero-sennin on a training trip. I won't come back for a few years so…"

"You're leaving?" Sasuke asked in disbelief.

"Just for a few years. When I come back I promise I'll fight you. But be ready to get your ass whooped by then, dattebayo!"

"You didn't even tell me."

"It was decided this morning."

"Oi, brat, kiss the boy and let's go already!" Jiraiya yelled at the blonde from afar.

The two genins blushed at his suggestion. "What the hell, Ero-sennin?" Naruto yelled back. Looking back at Sasuke, she seemed to rethink her actions and gave the Uchiha a small peck on his cheek and then turned and ran to catch up with her teacher. Said Uchiha blushed slightly and touched the spot where she kissed. Why was his heart beating so fast when she kissed him? And why was it breaking when he saw her leaving?

…

"Well, that was a total waste of time." Kyoko grumbled as Ninigi dropped the two ninjas off at a spot near a dango-tea shop. The greatest similarity between her and Itachi was that they both absolutely adored dango.

"Not completely, you got to see Naruto-kun again." Itachi reassured. Kyoko eyed him.

"You brought me with you just so that I could see Naru again?" she asked as the waitress took their order.

"You _are_ my girlfriend." Itachi stated.

"Geez, you're so subtle." Kyoko drawled sarcastically.

"Hmm."

"Thanks, Itachi." Kyoko gave Itachi a small kiss on his lips.

When she retreated from his face, Itachi licked his lips, causing Kyoko to stare at him in mortification.

"I should do this more often. I rarely get a kiss from you nowadays." He smirked, making Kyoko turn a bright shade of red that rivaled her hair.

"Don't expect me to do it every damn time you fucking do me a favor." She pouted.

"Such a dirty mouth you have. Shall I clean it up for you?"

"Pervert!"

"I'm not really a pervert if you're my girlfriend."

"Dammit, just shut up!"

The shop-keeper chuckled at the couple's banter as she approached them with their food. Oh such young love.

"So, you weren't really going at full strength there weren't you?" Kyoko asked the Uchiha quietly, taking a bite out from her dango.

"Why should I?" Itachi didn't look up from drinking his glass of green tea.

"I know for a fact that you can go toe to toe with that Toad Sannin. If you had a partner with you, capturing the jinchuuriki would have been easier than stealing candy from a baby."

"But you wouldn't have allowed it."

"I know I wouldn't."

"Naruto is that important to you?"

"Put it this way, if you manage to capture Naruto and bring her to the base for extraction, I would have to kill you and rescue her." Itachi saw just how serious Kyoko was when she said that. "And, believe me; _nothing_ will stop me from protecting my younger bro-sister and the village she resides in."

Silence cut in between them as the two missing-nins stared intently at each other until Itachi sighed and smirked.

"Then we both have similar goals." The raven-haired man stated.

…

**AN**

**I'm alive! Okay, so you guys like my little OC? There's more background on her from Mission Impossible: Tame the Uzumaki. There's been a little change with the previous chapter, since I didn't like it. So I repeat…**

_**CHAPTER 5 HAS BEEN REWRITTEN!**_

**Kyoko's summon is based off the Susanoo legend mixed in with my love of dragons. Just look up Ninigi-no-Mikoto on Wikipedia or something. He's not a major character, but I just wanted to put him in, since I couldn't use the eight-headed dragon (that was Orochimaru's summon).**

**See ya next chapter!**

**Dragonoiya**


	7. A Human's Touch

Chapter 7

A Human's Touch

By the time Sasuke read through the entire book that Kakashi had given him, his whole body looked like he went through four hundred degrees Fahrenheit in a sauna. To get through it faster he had used his Sharingan, but that didn't change the fact that what he had read was highly inappropriate for kids his age.

"So, learned something new?" Kakashi cheerfully mocked as he pocketed his Icha Icha away.

"To…revive my clan…I have to do…_that?_" Sasuke asked, barely able to speak from the horror.

"Yup, and you need a woman. So who will the lucky lady be?" Kakashi giggled, fingers to his masked lips in a schoolgirl kind of way.

Sasuke wasn't listening to him. "My whole life…has been a LIE!"

"What, did you think babies came from packages delivered by cranes?"

"…"

"…Never mind."

"Sasuke-kun! Kakashi-sensei! Tsunade-shisou has called us in for a mission!" Sakura's shout caught both male's attention. She stopped and stared at Sasuke, who had yet to recover. "Ahh… Sasuke-kun, why are you all red? What happened?"

"Tch, nothing." Sasuke dissed and brushed her shoulder as he walked past.

"Hm, well let's go see what Hokage-sama wants." Kakashi drawled as he followed Sasuke with Sakura in tow.

…

"Ero-sennin, I think we're lost." Naruto announced as the two arrived at the gates of Iwagakure.

"Oh Naruto," Jiraiya said as his hand fell on the blonde's shoulder. "We not just lost; we'll be dead if you don't remove your _damn headband!_"

"Geez, fine Mr. Grumpy Pervert." The blonde muttered as she removed her Konoha hitai-ate and placed it in her pocket while Jiraiya put on a henge. He now looked like a man in his thirties with brown hair and civilian clothing. "Why do we have to do this again?"

"Because," Jiraiya started to explain "Konoha doesn't have any alliance or peace treaty with Iwa. If they found out Konoha ninjas infiltrated their village, we'd most likely die at their hands. Worst case scenario, they'll use this as an excuse to start a war with Konoha."

"Okay then." Naruto confirmed as she rubbed her pinky finger in her ear "New question. Why are we here in the _first place_?!"

"…They have very nice bath houses."

"I fucking knew it! This is resear- mmph!" Naruto was cut off when Jiraiya slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Pipe down, brat; else your big mouth will draw attention to us." The Toad Sage said, indicating to the gate guards who were looking at them strangely.

Naruto glared at her teacher, at which said teacher only chuckled and ruffled her hair.

…

"Fuck all of you!" Roshi screamed as she stormed out of the bar with Han following.

"Is this what they call PMS?" the taller woman mused.

"_Why_ are you questioning the mysteries of the female body when _someone _ought to castrate those…those…perverted homos?!"

"Technically, they're not gay because you're the one who's female. And you have to admit Roshi, from a man's point of view and even a woman's; you do make an attractive female."

"Well I can't help it if I'm just that damn hot."

That morning, on the day every jinchuuriki in the Elemental Nations found out their genders had been swapped, every man in Earth Country seemed to have forgotten about Roshi's status of jinchuuriki and set about trying to court her. What really ticked off the red haired woman was that the Tsuchikage still hasn't stopped laughing at her demise. She may have been turned into a woman but she was still a man inside, thank you very much.

Roshi's hair had grown hip-length, even with the high ponytail, and she had all the perfect features of a woman that only man could dream about. However, most of that was obscured by the bulky brown and purple armor she wore when she was a guy. Her moustache and beard were gone, leaving only the smooth skin which the red head was rather unfamiliar with. Roshi looked younger than she really was, considering she was around forty years old.

Han looked pretty much the same as when she was male, albeit a little slimmer, mostly because she wore her red armor which prevented her corrosive steam from creating mass destruction. Much to Roshi's chagrin, Han still kept her face mask and the white cloth that covered the rest of her head. The only face that anyone could see of Han's was her brown eyes.

"Perhaps you need help." Han suggested.

"Help from whom? Certainly not those flirting scumbags!" Roshi scoffed.

"We might need to go shopping for womanly needs. I'm afraid you're on your PMS."

"Dammit, I'm not PMSing!"

"Sure you're not…"

Roshi growled. A few seconds of silence passed until "I want to go to the bath house." She demanded.

"Are you sure? You'd have to use the female side." Han warned.

"Whatever, I need to let some steam off."

"I'm not coming. Firstly I already let steam off, literally. And I just can't come…you know."

The Yonbi jinchuuriki knew. She was a victim of Han's fatal steam more than once. She was only thankful that her armor held back all that steam, though a few harmless wisps occasionally floated out. Even so, everyone kept their distance. The only person who ever went the closest to Han was Roshi, and even that was around half a meter in radius. The only touches Han ever experienced were the brief ones she gave, like poking, shaking, patting and such.

"Ah well, I'm off. See ya later." Roshi walked away with a wave goodbye. After watching her retreating back for a few minutes Han walked away somewhere else too, deciding to take care of a certain someone.

…

Naruto was walking down the rocky roadside. No one gave her a second glance, Iwa's economy was amongst the top in the Elemental Nations so the village was bustling with foreign merchants and tourists.

A shout alerted the blonde to a furious red haired woman storming out of a bar in fury followed by a tall as fuck person in some sort of red armor that covered everything but their eyes. Was it a man or woman? Judging by the mounds on their chest Naruto came to conclude that the tall one could either be a woman or a she-male. There seems to be a lot of them these days, she wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke was somehow one of them.

Having nothing better to do, Naruto followed the two using her _satisfactory_ ninja skills. Unknown to her was that the two stalked people were ninjas of Iwagakure and that if said ninjas found out she was a ninja herself, complications would arise.

Yet danger was the last thing that would ever cross Naruto Uzumaki's little ramen-induced mind. She probably never noticed that, when the red head left the company of her friend (and went in the direction that suspiciously looked like where Ero-sennin was doing his 'research'), the tall woman in the armor was walking in her direction. Yes, there was no danger at all.

"May I ask what you're doing, little girl?" Before she knew it, the armored woman was bent over on her knee so she was face-to-face with Naruto.

"Huh?" was the blonde's intelligent reply.

"I was asking why you were following us."

Deciding to be honest Naruto replied "I just wondered why you're so tall. Are you even a female?"

Han's eye twitched. Then she realized she wasn't supposed to be a woman. She had the mind of a male but the body of a female. Just what was she?

"Of course I'm a female." She decided to roll with that. For now.

"Then how the heck did you get so tall?"

"That's because you're the tiny one." Han patted the blonde's head.

"Hey!" Naruto pouted and Han chuckled. People around them were staring and whispering, some were even glaring, trying to tell the Gobi jinchuuriki to stay away from the kid. Standing up, Han was about to walk away when Naruto shouted "Just you watch, one day I'll grow taller than even you, dattebayo!"

Normally Han wouldn't want to associate with the other humans more than she should, but this blonde girl who may or may not be a ninja piqued her interest. Squatting, Han smiled at the girl, not that anyone would know because of her mask.

"I'd like to see you try. What's your name, kid?" Han asked.

"Naruto Uzumaki, dattebayo! And don't you forget it!"

"I like your attitude. The name's Han."

"Are you sure you're not a dude? 'Cuz your name sure sounds like one."

Ruffling the whiskered blonde's head and earning loud complaints, Han chuckled again. "I'll tell you later."

At that moment, an explosion of lava occurred in the direction of the bath houses accompanied by women's screaming and people all around panicking.

"Ah, Roshi/Ero-sennin did it again." Han and Naruto said at the same time, looking towards the source of the panic. They whipped their heads towards each other in surprise then back to the panic attack.

"I think I should check this out. You stay here, Naruto-san." Han said and started making her way towards the commotion.

"Wha-? Hey! I'm coming too!" Naruto yelled as she started running after Han, who was already quite far away due to her long strides.

…

Kakashi was beginning to panic. Tsunade had sent them on an important A-rank mission to deliver a scroll to the Tsuchikage. While it was quite rare for a genin team to be purposely given an A-rank mission, Kakashi had half a mind to cancel the mission. His Icha Icha was missing!

Searching their campsite; the tree branches, under rocks, inside the tents, their bags and storage scrolls, and even braved Sakura's tent where she was currently sleeping; Kakashi still could not find his precious orange book. Sakura was sleeping so there was no way she would have taken it. Sasuke was…somewhere. Guess it wouldn't hurt to ask him if he saw his book anywhere.

Finding the young Uchiha easily, Kakashi was faced with an interesting discovery. The onyx-eyed boy was leaning against the tree reading _his_ Icha Icha. The most interesting thing about this was that the boy wasn't red like before, keeping a straight face as he read the porn book.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Kakashi mused, stepping out from behind the tree Sasuke was leaning against. The genin jumped slightly in surprise at the voice, then relaxed when he saw who it belonged to.

"Hn, I was just reading to pass the time." Sasuke said, handing over the little orange book.

"And next time you'll be arriving late for team meetings and giving crappy excuses for your tardiness." Kakashi mocked as he pocketed his precious Icha Icha.

"Are you describing yourself?"

"Maybe, but I'm describing what I think you'll become. I understand your feelings for Naruto, but she's not dead, just on a training trip. There's no need to mourn and mope around about her."

Sasuke didn't deny it. He wasn't stupid enough to deny his feelings for the blonde dobe. "I know that. I'm just feeling…what did that book call it? Horny?"

Kakashi took a step back. "I-Is that so?" he smiled, poising to run back to the campsite to protect Sakura if need be.

Sasuke noticed his movement and guessed his train of thought. "It's not what you're thinking." He sighed. "I want a colorblind blue-eyed blonde with an insane appetite for ramen."

"Oh, when you put it like _that_." Now that was even worse. Kakashi made a mental note to himself to keep Naruto away from Sasuke when she came back. It wouldn't do if the evil demon Sasuke took away poor Naru-chan's purity.

"And _no_, I'm not going to jump her the minute I see her." Damn, this kid can read minds. "Not yet." Now he was just pushing it.

"Very nice, Sasuke. What am I thinking now?"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes and got up from his sitting place. "I'm going to sleep." he informed before trudging back to the campsite.

Kakashi's lone eye followed him until the trees completely obscured the boy from his sight. Sighing and taking out his porn book, Kakashi lazily traced his way back to the camp to wake up Sakura for her guard shift.

…

Naruto could've sworn this was déjà vu. Finding her perverted teacher on his back with his face being stepped on while being interrogated by a towel-wrapped woman was definitely a familiar scene. The only difference was the crowd of other _very_ angry women around them and that her teacher was in a henge so he looked like a completely different man.

Han grabbed hold of Roshi's arm, trying to prevent her from doing more harm to the man than just stepping on his face.

"You seem to be adjusting to the woman's life quite well." Han commented.

"Fuck you, Han! And fuck this perverted piece of shit that decided to peek in on the day _I_ decided to take a relaxing bath!" Roshi yelled.

"Oi, that's _my_ pervy teacher you're beating up, lady!" Naruto shouted.

"Who the fuck are _you_?!"

Tapping the red head's shoulder, Han brought Roshi's attention to her. "Roshi, this is Naruto Uzumaki. Naruto-san, this is my friend, Roshi." She introduced.

Naruto stared at the half-naked red head while said red head stared incredulously at her armored friend.

"Han, of all the people I expected you to introduce me to; I'd have never thought it would be a kid."

"What does that mean?"

Ignoring Han's cries of "It's not what you think!" Roshi picked up the pervert by his collar and threw him towards Naruto. Said blonde tried catching her teacher to look like a boss but failed as she collapsed from his weight.

"Agh! Ero-sennin, get your hands off my boobs!" An angry Naruto cried out as she pushed her henged teacher off herself.

Roshi shook her head. "Are you seriously studying under this pervert? What else has he done to you?"

"Hey!" the henged Jiraiya finally spoke up. "I may be a pervert, but I sure as hell am not a pedophile!"

The red head snorted. "Could've fooled me."

"Why you…!"

"Oi perverted sensei; I hope you value your life 'cuz all these half-naked ladies look just about ready to beat you down." Naruto cut in. Just then Jiraiya finally noticed the heated glares directed at him.

"Oh fuc-"he didn't even get to finish his sentence when he ran off, followed by an angry mob of towel-wrapped females. The only females _not_ chasing the Toad Sage were Roshi, Han and, of course, Naruto.

"Oh? Roshi, I thought you were mad at him?" Han said.

"I did my share of the work." Roshi shrugged. "Besides, I don't wanna get _too_ used to the female life." With that, the Yonbi jinchuuriki stalked off into the changing room. Naruto stared curiously at her.

"What did that mean?" she asked.

Han shrugged. "I'll tell you later." She dismissed.

Minutes later, a fully-clothed Roshi was found walking out of the bathhouse with her companions, an armored woman and a little blonde girl.

"So blondie," Roshi started. "Where're you from?"

"That's Naruto Uzumaki to you!" Naruto squeaked. "And I come from Kono- somewhere." Naruto realized she wasn't supposed to reveal where she came from and ended up with an almost slip-up and a lame reply. Roshi took this differently.

"Well at least you're smart enough not to reveal your home village to strangers. But I wouldn't put it past yer to be one of those haters."

"Haters? Of what?"

"I'll let you in on a secret, kid."

"Roshi, don't-"Han tried to stop her red haired friend.

"Han and I, we're transgender." And this is what happens when you _don't stop Roshi!_

Naruto stared at them, and then dropped her fist into her palm. "Oh, that makes so much sense! No wonder you have guy names!"

Roshi nodded in agreement with the blonde while Han sweated it out, trying to think of a good excuse for Naruto's misunderstanding and Roshi's misinterpretation.

"So why did ya decide to become females anyways?" the blonde asked.

"Ah we didn't actually _want_ to change genders." Han said.

"Yeah, it just…happened. One night we're all innocent and go to bed like normal people and BOOM! Next morning, we're up to find ourselves like this!" Roshi pointed to herself, more specifically her chest area.

'That scenario actually sounds familiar. I wonder why.' Naruto mentally mused.

…

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Kakashi mused as Team Seven were faced with the crumpled form of the Toad Sage in Iwagakure all battered, bruised and beaten up. His henge was dispelled but the surrounding Iwa shinobis didn't seem to mind the presence of one of Konoha's Sannins in their village.

"That, young man, was the failure of what would have been successful research if a kunoichi didn't happen to be in the hot springs." Jiraiya informed.

"Jiraiya-sama, are you okay?" Sakura asked in concern as a glowing green orb appeared in her hands as she healed the Sannin.

"Meh, don't worry about it." He reassured, waving off her concerns. He liked nurses with bigger breasts thank you very much.

"Wait, if you're here then…" Sasuke ran off somewhere.

"Sasuke, wait!" Kakashi called out, but in vain as his calls went unanswered. The one-eyed jounin shrugged and turned to the Iwa ninja that approached their group.

"Ah you must be the Konoha group here for the delivery of the scroll." Kakashi's nod confirmed it. "In that case, follow me." He started walking in the direction of the Tsuchikage's office with Kakashi, Sakura and a recovered Jiraiya following.

…

"Dobe." Sasuke whispered in Naruto's ear, sending a suspicious shiver of excitement down her spine for a moment before she jumped at the voice.

"Gah! Teme, what are you doing here?" Naruto yelled, her companions staring at the two in curiosity and glee.

"Oh? Is this your boyfriend, Naruto?" Roshi asked mockingly.

"What?! No way, he's-"Naruto was cut off when Sasuke slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Yes, I'm Naruto's boyfriend." A muffled "What the fuck?" was heard from the blonde girl. "And, as her boyfriend, I want to know who the hell you two are."

"Oh young love." Roshi teased, all the while noticing the Konoha hitai-ate on the boy's forehead. She and Han had heard about a bunch of Konoha ninjas coming to Iwa on peaceful terms but they'd never expected them to be kids. Naruto must be from Konoha too.

Naruto broke free from Sasuke's hold on her mouth and, completely forgetting his declaration of being her boyfriend, introduced the two Iwa kunoichis. "Han and Roshi, this is Sasuke-yarou. Sasuke-teme, this is Han and Roshi. They're transgender who didn't really want to be female but don't know how their genders swapped either."

Sasuke stared at the whiskered girl's face (partially checking out the rest of her body too). "Dobe, isn't that just like you?"

A few moments of silence till the realization dropped onto Naruto's head like a hammer onto a nail (think Kyuubi smashing Pain into the ground). "Holy shit! You guys too?" she screamed.

"I'm not following…" Han said.

"I mean, you've got monsters inside of you?"

The Iwa jinchuurikis winced. The concept of people calling them monsters was not new to them but they'd like the 'monster' gig to be toned down a little. They confirmed the genin's suspicions with a nod.

"That's freaking awesome!" Naruto yelled and glomped Han while Sasuke glared at the armored ninja. Both Han and Roshi felt like they'd been bowled over by a stampede of Gobis. Never had anyone called their kind 'awesome' and never had anyone _ever_ hugged Han.

"I'm one too!" Roshi's jaw fell and Han was still shocked by the experience of a hug. Han got another shock of her life when Roshi grabbed her shoulders with mock tears in her eyes.

"Han, you have good taste, even if it is a kid. Too bad she's already taken." She sobbed.

Again ignoring Han's cries of "It's not like that!" Roshi grabbed the blonde's hands and cupped them in hers.

"We have so much to talk about! We'll-"Roshi was cut off when Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hands out of hers.

"As much as Naruto would like to spend time with you, I want to have a talk with her first." Sasuke drawled.

A sly smile spread over Roshi's face as she waved them away. "Oh by all means, do _go ahead._"

Sasuke dragged Naruto into a nearby alley out of sight of other people, ignoring her protests of "You fucking bastard!"

…

**AN**

**Heya! Been awhile hey? I hated seeing my story in the middle of the page in the Naruko section so I wanted to update as fast as I could. This is my longest chapter yet! Did ya enjoy it? Oh who am I kidding of course you did! I'm in the middle of updating Heroes of Daybreak so the next chapter MIGHT take a little longer to come out.**

**Now just what is horny Sasuke going to do with poor innocent Naru-chan? Pull together your pants, perverts and find out in the next chappie! ;D**

**Dragonoiya **


	8. The Cause

Chapter 8

The Cause

Once in the alley Sasuke slammed Naruto up against the wall, his arms on either side of her head and his face dangerously close to hers.

"Dobe." He whispered huskily in her ear, sending excited shivers down her spine. Naruto closed her eyes, hoping that if she did not see what was going to happen next she won't feel it. "Your headband."

"Eh?" the blonde snapped her eyes open to see her hitai-ate in Sasuke's hand in front of her face. "What the hell? When did you take it from my pocket?" she snatched said headband from the boy's open palm.

"Do you seriously call yourself a ninja?" he scoffed.

"Whatever. Hey, you still didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

"I'm on a mission. Kakashi and Sakura are here too, delivering some scroll or other for the Tsuchikage."

"Wait, so Iwa ninjas are not gonna attack us if they know we're from Konoha?"

"For today and probably tomorrow, no."

A few seconds of silence passed between the two until Naruto shook her fist at the sky cursing "Damn you, Ero-sennin! You fucking tricked me!"

"You really are a dobe." Sasuke sighed.

"Well, you can't expect me to know something like that!" Naruto defended.

"Fair point."

"So is this_ all_ you dragged me here for?"

"No, there's something I wanted to ask you."

"I'm listening."

"Well," Sasuke slightly turned red "w-what do we have? What is this between us?"

"Are you blind? It's obviously, I'd say, around one centimeter of air!" the blonde deadpanned, trying to indicate that the Uchiha was too close to her.

"Dobe, I meant our relationship."

"Teme, I'm not sure which Yamanaka went inside your head and fucked with it, in which I'm guessing it's Ino, but you do realize that you're hitting on a guy that suddenly turned into a girl. Who's to say I won't magically turn back into a dude just as fast? In fact, I might turn back even right now!"

A few minutes of tense silence fell between them until Naruto groaned in frustration.

"Dammit! That sort of jinx thing usually works, dattebayo!"

"I actually kind of liked you even as a guy."

"Whaa..?"

"Not to say I'm gay, it's…really complicated."

"You know, I think we've been here for a while. Han and Roshi are waiting for us."

Before Sasuke could react or say anything, Naruto ducked down and stood back up, successfully freeing herself from the Uchiha's hold. While walking out of the alley her foot hit a discarded wooden box.

"Ouch! That hurt!" she yelped.

"Dobe, be more careful." Sasuke scolded in concern as the blonde stuck her tongue out at him.

Sasuke walked ahead of her, as Naruto was limping from the pain in her foot. So he reached Iwa's jinchuuriki pair before she did.

All the while Han and Roshi watched the raven-haired boy approaching them, snickering at the sly and dirty thoughts crossing theirs minds.

"So Sasuke-san, did you have _fun_ with Naruto-san?" Han teased.

"Yeah Sasuke, did you _give it to her_?" Roshi mocked.

Sasuke smirked. "If you're trying to imply that I fucked her then, yes, I fucked her so bad she's limping." He pointed to the limping blonde, at which both the older ninjas' faces paled at. They were so young! They didn't actually expect them to take it that far.

They were so shocked, they didn't notice Sasuke disappear off to meet with the rest of his team and Naruto waving in their dazed faces.

"Hello~! You guys in there?" she waved.

Roshi grabbed Naruto's shoulders. "Naruto, please tell me you used protection."

The blonde tilted her head in confusion. "Protection? From what?"

Han sighed and Roshi sat the whiskered blonde down on a nearby bench.

"Kid, let me tell you a story." She said. "When a man and woman love each other _very_ much…"

_Ten Minutes Later…_

"…and that's why you must always use protection!" the red head finished, resulting in a gaping blonde stunned into a miraculous silence.

"Wait, you thought Sasuke-yarou and I did _that_ in there?" she asked in disbelief.

"Well he did say he fucked you, and we all know what that means now." Han informed. "Wait, so you didn't..?"

"He's not even my fucking boyfriend!"

A few seconds of silence passed until Roshi commented "Well, that boy sure is a sly bastard."

"And you realize _now_?"

"On a side note, you two do make a cute pair." Han mused, propping her hand against her chin while her other hand supported her elbow.

"No way! I mean he's a guy and I…was once a guy." Naruto denied.

"But you're a girl now."

"I sure feel like a guy."

Roshi rested one hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Kid, you have the body of a female, therefore the female hormones will affect your head. Look at me, just a few hours ago I was PMSing!"

"And _now_ you care to admit it?" Han interjected.

"Shut it Han! Admit it, Naruto; you might have checked the boy out once or twice. And we _know_ he has a thing for you."

It was true. Naruto often held her gaze on the Uchiha longer than necessary, but that didn't mean she liked him from a girl's point of view, did it? She did everything possible to avoid a conversation with Sasuke that involved something in regards to their…relationship. As was seen earlier.

"Why are we talking about stuff like this anyways?" Naruto asked, the air of naivety considerably heavy around her.

Han and Roshi shrugged, and then a look of realization dawned onto Han's face (or what you could see of it).

"I think the hormones are taking its effect into full course." She deadpanned. Silent confusion was etched onto the other two jinchuurikis' faces until Roshi caught onto it.

"Holy fuck, we're gossiping and talking about our _feelings_!" she exclaimed, hands pressed against the side of her head in sudden realization and drawing a look of absolute terror from Naruto's face as she cupped her cheeks with a gaping mouth (think 'The Scream' painting).

"What's up with you guys?" a familiar voice cut in. The jinchuurikis' heads snapped to the side, seeing the object of their not-too-long-ago conversation.

"Oh Sasuke-san, where did you run off to?" Han asked, noticing Naruto blushing a bit from said conversation.

"Just doing what I came here to do, my mission. Speaking of which, my sensei sent me here to get you. The Tsuchikage calls for you, all of you." Sasuke replied, grabbing a blushing Naruto's hand and making his way to the Tsuchikage's office, indicating for the two others to follow. The Iwa jinchuurikis sighed and followed.

…

"Yo Old Man, wat'chu want now?" Roshi greeted as she entered the Tsuchikage's office door, ducking from a thrown stone in the process.

"I'm the Tsuchikage and you shall address me as such with respect!" Onoki scolded as the red head picked her ear with her pinky finger. The scene looked eerily familiar to Naruto.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, I never called you Tsuchikage before so I'm not gonna start now."

"Brat." Onoki muttered, and then reverted to his serious Kage mode. "As we all know and can see, every jinchuuriki in the Elemental Nations seemed to have been…genderbent. It seems harmless, but recent information from Kumogakure has led us to believe that something is up."

Everyone's brows shot up in confusion. The Tsuchikage continued, "One source had been able to confirm a likely cause of this situation, the Akatsuki." Sasuke's eyes darkened at the name of the organization his brother was in, Naruto remained calm as she knew she was the source while everyone else drew looks of confusion except for Kakashi and Jiraiya.

"What the hell is an Akatsuki?" Roshi popped the question everyone else had wondered. Jiraiya took it upon himself to answer her question. Through explaining that the Akatsuki was a group of S-rank missing-nins and what known goals they had so far, Han narrowed her eyes at the Sannin, feeling a sense of familiarity about him. When the Toad Sage finished, Han shrugged the feeling off and continued listening to what Onoki had to say now. The Iwa ninjas tried and failed to suppress a shudder when the Tsuchikage gave a massive grin.

"As for what exactly put you three in this situation," Onoki simpered "Tsunade-hime had been doing a little research on various jutsus to change a person's sex, and exactly one matched your situation." The jinchuurikis were listening much more intently to every word the old man said, even Naruto, who normally wouldn't give two flying shits about whatever a Kage was saying. "Have any of you ever heard of the Shadow Body Changing Jutsu? Of course not. It only works on people with unnatural amounts of chakra to maintain it, in this case the jinchuurikis."

"So it's like a genjutsu or a forced henge?" Han mused "If that's so, then why can't we dispel it?"

"Only the one who cast it can dispel it. In short, you guys are stuck like this until you catch the caster." The Tsuchikage guffawed while the jinchuurikis fell to their knees in mock depression (think of young Hashirama whenever young Madara made fun of him). "And another thing, if the caster dies you'll be stuck like this _forever_!" Han outright fainted.

"What the hell, Old Man? Do you realize that now I have to carry this heavy as fuck son of a bitch?" Roshi complained as the Tsuchikage laughed even harder.

"She's a woman so, technically, she can't be called a 'son'." Kakashi pointed out.

"No one asked you." Roshi grunted as she wrapped one of Han's arms around her shoulder and hoisted the armored woman up. She walked out of the office slowly, grunting and groaning as Onoki's laugh (evil in her mind) resounded in the background. Jiraiya grabbed a stunned Naruto by her collar, bowed to the Tsuchikage and followed the jinchuurikis outside.

"Well, our mission seems to have ended. I guess this is farewell then, Tsuchikage-sama." Kakashi said as he and his team bowed and left the office. Sasuke never stopped scowling since he heard the news. Sakura noticed his sour mood.

"Sasuke-kun, I thought you'd be happy about this." She giggled.

"I am." Sasuke admitted. "It's the 'What if they succeed in changing back?' I'm worried about."

"Seriously, Sasuke?" Kakashi joined in. "I think you're thinking too far ahead. Live the moment."

"I try. But what would I do when Naruto turns back into a guy?"

"Then I'll steal him from you." Sakura smiled. Sasuke's eyes widen by a fraction.

"Sakura, you…?"

"If you're not careful, Sasuke-kun, I might steal her from you even now."

Sasuke stared at the pinkette, mouth gaping, as the smile on said pinkette's face turned sly. Sakura skipped off ahead of the team.

"Oh? I think you might have a bisexual love rival, Sasuke." Kakashi noted. Sasuke heard him, and understood what he said, but he didn't quite want to believe him. Sasuke told himself what he had just heard was a hallucination; yes it was just a hallucination. Sakura couldn't be…no, she couldn't. She'd always been the annoying fangirl, so when did she suddenly become the love rival. Sasuke grew worried; Naruto had a crush on that pinkette. That was heavy competition.

Determination set on the pale face of the Uchiha, Sasuke briskly walked after Sakura where she was most likely heading towards his favorite blonde (not Ino, God no).

…

When Roshi found out that the pervert from the bathhouse was none other than one of the Legendary Sannin, she took it quite well. If you call shouting "Hell yeah, I beat up a Sannin! Bow down before the Legendary Roshi!" taking it well, of course. Currently, while the weight of a heavily armored Han was brought down on Jiraiya (with warnings not to molest her), the red haired and blonde jinchuurikis were deep in conversation about their various epic ninja missions, where Naruto boasted about her mission to Wave and her Chuunin Exams. She never made chuunin but her fight with a bloodthirsty Ichibi was worthy enough to brag about.

"Can't you two talk about something else? Like boobs?" Jiraiya groaned. Roshi glared at him.

"No way, you perv. That's gross, even for us." She asserted.

"Actually, I think we can talk about boobs." Naruto mused.

"What? Naruto don't listen to him!"

"Finally, the girl has some sense!" Jiraiya grinned.

"Hey Ero-sennin." Naruto gave a sly grin. "I've noticed that your boobs are bigger than mine, dattebayo."

Jiraiya face-vaulted while Roshi clutched her stomach, trying to contain her laughter. Han woke up from the movement, muttering "What'd I miss?"

"Naruto-kun!" a female voice called out. Naruto turned around to face a fluff of pink and red glomping her.

"Oh Sakura-chan!" Naruto cried out in glee, hugging her back. 'I have no idea why she's hugging me but I'll roll with it for now.' Naruto thought. 'Perhaps now she'll…'

"Hey Sakura-chan, does this mean you'll go on a date with me, dattebayo?" Naruto asked hopefully. Fuck Sasuke, Sakura is and always will be her future wife. Sakura chuckled dangerously and Naruto sweated a little bit, expecting a huge beat down any second.

"Naruto, are you a lesbian?" Sakura's dark smile never left her face.

"What? No, of course not! I may have a female body, but I still have the mind of a guy!"

"Naruto-san, remember you have the female-"

"-Hormones~." Roshi interrupted Han, saying her part in a sing-song voice. Naruto turned around and pointed her finger at the two Iwa nins.

"I ain't giving in to no pussy hormones crap!" the blonde yelled.

"Hehe, she said 'pussy'." Jiraiya giggled. No one paid any attention to him.

"Girl, you need to adjust your head to the female mindset, or else the hormones will build up and you'll end up jumping the nearest male." Roshi lectured.

"Then it's a good thing _I'm_ her teacher." Jiraiya added in from behind the red head. Said red head swiftly kicked backwards, her foot connecting with the Sannin's jaw and sending him flying. All this whilst not taking her eyes of the blonde in front of her.

"Bitch please, no woman in her right or wrong mind would even think about jumping you even if you were the last man in existence!" Roshi yelled. "Besides, you're large boobs would suffocate the poor woman!"

"What the hell is going on?" all heads turned to the young Uchiha who arrived in time to see Jiraiya fly out of sight from the Yonbi jinchuuriki's back kick. Han turned back to Naruto.

"Now _him_ you can jump safely." She announced smugly.

"Why the hell would I want to do THAT?!" Naruto shouted.

"Naruto won't be raping anybody." Sakura leaned on Naruto's shoulder as the blonde sighed in relief. "No, only _I_ am allowed to rape her." An evil smile graced Sakura's features.

"WHAT?!" all three jinchuurikis screeched. Sasuke stood there watching the females argue and bicker. He'd always had a fucked up life but this was just ridiculous.

…

**AN**

**Woohoo! Another chapter done! I dunno why but today my mind's randomly thinking up really dirty thoughts so this chapter is seriously perverted.**

**After some research and self-evaluation, I have come to the conclusion that I have a Multi-Personality Disorder (not really sure but whatever… :P). And, since that's the case, a part of my day is spent in brooding and Uchiha-like emoness (in which I'm using to write a new time-travel Naruto story) and another part in goofy and perverseness (in which I'm using to write this). The rest is spent doing…whatever.**

**But what did you perverts think Sasuke was going to do to Naruto in the alley? Haha! XD See ya next chapter! ;)**

**Dragonoiya**


	9. The Zombie Combo

Chapter 9

The Zombie Duo

"Yahiko…" Konan groaned, as she read the newspaper. She'd expected someone dying, or the oceans dyed red, or even someone's head switched with their…genitals. But even this fell out of common logic. She'd heard of a henge, and Demon Country's Shadow Mirror Body Changing Method. But to change someone's gender and still have their genetic traits was something new.

"Yeah, Konan-chan?" Yahiko's head popped out from behind a doorway, a clown wig half clipped to his mess of orange hair and a mustache drawn on his face with a black marker. Konan sighed. She couldn't believe she once had a crush on this crazy man. Waving the paper in his face, Konan adopted the look of an angry stern mother while Yahiko was the guilty little boy with bad grades.

"What do you think this is?" the blue-haired woman remarked. Yahiko stared at the newspaper in front of his face.

"It's…a newspaper, I think. Yeah, it _is_ a newspaper!" the orange-haired man cried out in glee, elated that he knew what the object was and Konan didn't. Konan snapped.

"Yahiko, you changed all the jinchuuriki's genders?! What if they had caught you? Do you realize the danger you would've been in?! What if you had killed them instead?!"

"What's going on here?" a deep male voice called out. A pale red haired man with the Akatsuki cloak limped into the room supported by two crutches to see his best friend sobbing in the corner with his female best friend hounding him and holding up a newspaper. Konan turned to him and handed the crippled man the newspaper. Sitting on a nearby chair and leaning his crutches against the wall, Nagato read the headlines, and then the content as Konan waited impatiently with hands on her hips and tapping her foot. Nagato sighed as he rolled up the paper.

"I don't see any harm done. Maybe a blow to someone's pride here and there, but it certainly won't interfere in our goals." Nagato said. Konan felt like grabbing her hair and ripping it out.

"Nagato! Can't you see? What if someone saw him?" she pointed to the orange-haired man in the corner. "If they could change back they would've already done so by now. And if they saw him, then it's only common sense to hunt down the disease for the antidote." Nagato nodded in understanding. He didn't want to involve his fickle best friend in their line of work. Yahiko had amazing ninja skills but, unfortunately, his head wasn't in the right place.

"Hey guys, let's go to the amusement park!" Yahiko jumped up and down, recovered from his corner gloom. Nagato and Konan sighed.

…

"And so, Teme, that's why all of _this_" Naruto waved her hands down her body as Sasuke focused on the more womanly parts of it "is girly while _this_" she pointed to her head "is hundred percent dude."

Sasuke rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Dobe, that's not a legit excuse for using the male's bathroom. At least, it wasn't for the men inside." He pointed out. He was dragging a loud blonde _away_ from the men's room to the women's at the hotel.

"But I don't even need to go anymore!" the blonde complained.

"You're a girl now, so learn to use the girl's washroom."

"I'm not _all_ girl, dattebayo!"

"Is that so?" The Uchiha stepped closer to the blonde jinchuuriki as said blonde backed away. "Let's test that theory." Sasuke's hands grabbed Naruto's breasts and began fondling them. They were bigger than the jumpsuit let on, he noted. Naruto's eyes widened and let loose a flying fist.

"YOU PERVERT!" she screamed as Sasuke caught her fist, smirking as his other hand let go of her chest.

"And, as was demonstrated, you reacted the same way a girl would." The onyx-eyed boy stated.

"Why you little son of a-"

"Naruto, you just had to spoil the moment didn't you?" Jiraiya's voice came from beside them. The Sannin rested a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, grinning. "I'm proud of you, Uchiha brat. You are most definitely one with the perv-"

"Finish that sentence, I dare you." Roshi's voice came from behind the Toad Sage. Jiraiya shuddered. He didn't want to upset the woman with the fury of Tsunade. "And _you,_" the red head venomously pointed at the Uchiha "good job."

Ignoring Naruto's cries of "What the hell?!" Roshi slung an arm over Sasuke's shoulders and brought her mouth to his ear, covering her lip movement with her palm.

"But you know," she whispered "in order to successfully molest her, you've gotta distract her by kissing her first." Sasuke stared at her impassively.

"Hn, thanks for the advice." He replied.

"No probs, kiddo!"

"Hey, hey, what did you tell him?" Naruto asked suspiciously. Roshi shrugged in response.

"I totally forgot." She said as Naruto groaned. The blonde turned to Sasuke.

"What did she tell you?"

"Like I'd tell a dobe like you." Sasuke smirked.

"Fucking teme!"

Naruto felt Roshi's hand on her shoulder. The blonde turned her head to glare at the red head. Said red head glared back.

"Oi, Naruto." Roshi growled. "I've got a weird…_thing_ in my underwear and I'm on my time of the month. So the _last thing_ you'd ever want to do is cross me."

Naruto growled back. "You think you're the _only one?_" Sasuke and Jiraiya inched away. A facedown between two females on their PMS was not a good thing to get caught in crossfire. And, as suddenly as it came, the anger dissipated with the two jinchuurikis laughing.

'Moody/ Bitchy bipolar females…' were the thoughts of Sasuke and Jiraiya looking at the peculiar scene. Women…

"So how about coming with me and Han for dinner? I know this good place..." Roshi invited. Her 'good place' being the only restaurant in Iwa that allowed 'demons' to use their services. Naruto grinned, accepting the invitation.

Naruto and Roshi walked out of the hotel building where Han was apparently waiting at the door for them. Together they set off walking down the street to Han and Roshi's favorite food stand with Sasuke and Jiraiya behind them, keeping a safe distance. Coincidently, the only restaurant that allowed Han and Roshi in served Naruto's favorite food, a ramen stand. Somewhere along the way Jiraiya got distracted by the numerous foreign women and disappeared somewhere, not that the others were really paying attention to what he was doing.

…

"Hey, Frankenstein! I see him, that's the one!" Hidan shouted to his partner, who got pissed at the sound of his loud and irritating voice.

"Shut up, Hidan. Or else I'll kill you." Kakuzu growled murderously. Hidan was unfazed by his threat.

"Bitch, are you growing old? Oh wait you are!" Hidan laughed at his own joke while Kakuzu looked ready to split heads, but not really denying it. "In case you've forgotten, I _can't_ die, even if I wanted to. I'm fucking immortal!"

Kakuzu sighed and rubbed his temples. Even if Hidan couldn't die he could just cut his head off. But that would be too troublesome and he'd be forced to stitch it back together again.

Hidan ran off towards a ramen stand where their target, the Gobi jinchuuriki, was entering. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at the armored man. That was no man; men did not have breasts…unless they were she-males. But that's beside the point. He recognized two of their target's companions, a red head who was the jinchuuriki of the Yonbi and a blonde who was the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi. Some dark-haired kid was with them but he was of no importance. Kakuzu technically saw walking bundles of cash there. Three jinchuurikis in one mission; that would fetch a high sum of money indeed.

Kakuzu grabbed the collar of Hidan's cloak with a threaded tentacle, dragging him back from his charge towards the ramen stand. Hidan glared at the former Takigakure ninja.

"What the fuck is it _now?_" he yelled.

"We're outnumbered, no matter the difference in strength." Kakuzu explained. "Wait until they come out. That's when we'll make our move."

"Tch, fucking bastard." The Jashinist muttered.

About an hour later, the four ninjas walked out, bellies filled with ramen and Naruto wearing the biggest face-splitting grin she could muster while Sasuke scoffed and insulted her on her eating habits. Hidan was impatient and eager to kill someone. He almost pounced on them the second they walked out of the ramen stand. The only thing stopping him from sending those mortals to their early graves was Kakuzu pulling him back by his collar, restraining him like a dog. That and he wasn't allowed to kill the jinchuurikis until after their extraction. Even then, they were usually already dead.

Cursing rainbows, Hidan was forced to follow and wait silently for the right moment to strike, preferably where the population of people thinned out. As fate ever so gracefully happened, a less populated area was exactly where Roshi and Han wanted to go, to get away from the villager's glares and whispers. Hidan grinned at that. Those fuckers were willingly digging their own graves!

The cool evening air of Iwa's park brushed against the ninjas' skins as they trekked across the rocky paths weaving around various benches and large boulders. Naruto's bubbly personality rubbed off a little on the Iwa ninjas as they were currently discussing the merits of different flavors of ramen with enthusiasm. Sasuke was off in his own world, staring more at Naruto than what was considered normal. Hidan gave a crazed chuckle while Kakuzu sweatdropped at his behavior. These fucktards think that, just because they're in a village, they're safe from any kind of harm. Well think again, bitches!

Hidan pounced on the four seemingly unsuspecting ninjas from atop a boulder three meters behind them. What he didn't expect was Han and Roshi turning around and punching out waves of corrosive steam and lava respectively. Hidan had to have his skin saved by Kakuzu, who wrapped his threaded tentacles around the Jashinist and pulled him out of the way from the lethal waves. Instead the attacks corroded the boulder and floor behind them.

Setting down the pouting silver-haired man next to him Kakuzu glared at him. "What have I told you about recklessly charging into battle like that?" he scolded.

"This is a Hidden Village! They're not supposed to suspect a battle happening here!" Hidan defended, turning to the jinchuurikis poised for battle for an answer.

Roshi snorted. "Only for jinchuurikis, even Hidden Villages can be dangerous. The villagers like to turn on our kind you know!" Before Roshi can make even one hand seal for a jutsu, Naruto caught her arm.

"That's Akatsuki." She whispered, indicating to the cloaks they were wearing. Han, who heard her, nodded.

"If that's the case then we can't take them on alone. Sasuke-san, take Naruto-san and get help. We'll stall these two for as long as possible." Han instructed.

"What? But I want to hel-"Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm and broke into a run, dragging her with him. "Oi, Teme, let go! I want to fight too!" the blonde shouted.

"Dobe, know a losing battle. These guys are out of our leagues and you know it." Sasuke told her.

"Tch, if it were Itachi you wouldn't be saying that." Naruto muttered. Sasuke heard her and fell silent, still running off to the Tsuchikage tower.

Sasuke's and Naruto's running came to a halt when a certain silver-haired Jashinist jumped in front of them. Sasuke, still keeping tight hold of Naruto, turned and started running in the opposite direction of him. The two Konoha ninjas weaved through different streets and turned different corners, all while a crazy priest ran after them screaming profanities and words Naruto didn't think was possible to use as a swear word. Sasuke was getting sick of the running game, the rogue ninja was trying to keep them from reaching the Tsuchikage's office and he didn't show any signs of slowing down.

Bringing Naruto running closer to him, he whispered "Right after we make a turn put up a henge, any henge. Just look completely different." The blonde scowled at him, not liking the way he gave orders, but nodded in understanding anyways. Right after turning the next corner, Naruto put up a henge of an older brunette with green eyes and pale skin. Sasuke also put up a henge. His was a blue-haired guy around the same age as Naruto's henge with blue eyes and darker skin. Pushing the henged Naruto against a wall, Sasuke started raping Naruto's lips with his own. Hidan ran past them, not recognizing who they were and, thus, not caring.

Jiraiya happened to pass by, sporting a black eye from an unsuccessful research (this time, done in by a girl named Kurotsuchi), and witnessed the scene. He grinned lecherously and congratulated Sasuke on his ninja and womanizing achievement, then turned serious and followed the S-Class missing nin from Yugakure.

Long after Hidan had passed the two, Naruto and Sasuke were still passionately kissing. They seemed to have forgotten the situation they were in. After a minute or two their henge dispelled, yet their lips didn't move one bit. They only stopped for air, and then went right back to what they were doing. Naruto let loose a few moans in the kiss, which only fueled Sasuke's burning desire to have her. He smirked and decided to listen to Roshi's advice, his hand slipping up the blonde's shirt.

…

"Twin Rasengan!" Jiraiya yelled as his two hands filled with swirling blue spheres rammed into the back of one very pissed off Hidan. This only served to piss off the already pissed off Jashinist even more.

"You fucking old man! Can't you see I'm fucking _busy_ here?" He yelled. Jiraiya's eye twitched.

"I'm not an old man, I'm a pervert! Not just any pervert, I'm a _super pervert_!" the Toad sage yelled back.

"Whatever, it ain't gonna change the fact that you'll be serving tonight's special on the 'Jashin's Sacrifice' menu!" Hidan drew out his Triple Bladed Scythe, licking a blade in murderous glee. Jiraiya was well informed on the Jashinist cult that had obtained the power of immortality through faith in their god and the countless murders and destruction they pulled in his name. What he found utterly disgusting was their Curse techniques. The user makes every attempt to acquire an opponent's blood, where upon consuming it they draw the Jashin symbol on the ground. This process somehow "links" their body with their opponent's. Once this link is established, the user takes on a Grim Reaper-like appearance, with black skin and white bone-like markings. In this state, they are essentially a living voodoo doll for their opponent; any damage that is done to them is also inflicted on the opponent.

Despite the danger, Jiraiya went in for a close-range combat. His Hidden Kunai Mechanism allowed him to instantly extend and retract kunai from his sleeve using a spring-loaded wire. Kunai in hand, Jiraiya dodged, deflected and parried Hidan's attack with his scythe. Jumping a fair distance from the Jashinist, Jiraiya allowed Hidan to get closer by swinging his scythe seemingly at random directions. This involved twirling while dangerously swinging the scythe in any and all angles. It also involved him turning his back to the enemy for a split second. That split second was all the white-haired man needed. Mid-twirl, Jiraiya jumped forward, kunai in hand and cut the tendons on Hidan's neck and severing his head. Without the head, the body couldn't do anything.

Holding the head far away from the body's reach, Jiraiya prepared to disable the body, ignoring the loud string of curses from the Jashinist's head. A threaded tentacle reached out and snatched the head away from the Toad Sage. Jiraiya looked up and saw the other Akatsuki member, Kakuzu. The Sannin ducked from a random swing of Hidan's mindless body. Running towards the money-loving ninja, Jiraiya found that said ninja had gone to where Jiraiya was previously standing to retrieve Hidan's body.

"Hey, hey, what the fuck is going on?" Hidan's head shouted.

"Quiet you fool, the leader has told us to call off the mission. We have an emergency meeting." Kakuzu told him.

"Alright, then fucking put me back together now!"

"Later." Kakuzu hoisted the struggling body over one shoulder while his other arm was preoccupied with holding Hidan's head. It was a shame to cancel a mission at a time like this, when three jinchuurikis were gathered at one place. But fighting off a Sannin to get them just wasn't worth it, he supposed. Hidan here was defeated in no time at all and would've been captured had he not been there to rescue his sorry ass.

Jiraiya ran after them as Kakuzu disappeared with Hidan, but thought the better of it when he remembered the safety of the jinchuurikis came first.

…

Roshi and Han were frantically searching the streets for the blonde and her dark-haired (boy)friend. They were utterly frustrated that they could only hold off one Akatsuki dude, the other slippery one chasing after the genins. They didn't know what to think when the tentacle freak they were fighting looked at the ring on his finger like a watch. Who did that during a fight?! But he did have a bitterly sour look when he ran off.

This left the concern of Naruto's safety. Turning a corner, they met with an interesting scene. Naruto and Sasuke making out like there weren't S-Class missing ninjas after Naruto's ass. Speaking of Naruto's ass, Sasuke seemed to have taken Roshi's advice into consideration as his arms were wrapped around the blonde's waist, one hand groping at said blonde's ass. Naruto was none the wiser as she was too busy kissing the young Uchiha, her arms wrapped around the boy's neck and her fingers raking through his hair.

Han and Roshi didn't do anything, nor did they make any sound. They just stood there watching the genins make out with sly and lecherous grins on their faces. Sometime later, Jiraiya joined them in the watching, grinning in the same way they were.

"They're still going at it huh?" he whispered.

"_Still?_" Han quirked an eyebrow as Jiraiya softly chuckled.

"I saw them like this about a half hour ago. Damn, the Uchiha brat is good at this. I almost envy him."

"By the way, the…"

"I took care of the other one but before I could successfully capture him, the one from Taki grabbed him and left. I wonder why…"

"At least they're gone. Remind me to inform the Old Man about this, he'll need to double the guard duty around here." Roshi said. "I think we've been watching these two for fifteen minutes now so… AHEM!" Naruto's and Sasuke's heads snapped away from each other at the sound of her voice, Sasuke losing his grip on Naruto's posterior and Naruto letting go of Sasuke. Both of them were panting slightly.

"Umm, how long have you been there?" Naruto asked.

"Long enough." Jiraiya answered as Naruto turned fifteen shades of red right there and then. Then she realized something important.

"Oh shit! The Akatsuki!" she cried out, grabbing at her long loose blonde hair.

"Already taken care of, well they ran off so not so much."

Naruto groaned. "Awww, I didn't get in on any action, dattebayo."

"Oh, believe me, kid, you've been in plenty of action already." Roshi grinned as Naruto turned red all over again.

"T-That's not what I meant!" she yelled out. Sasuke grabbed hold of her bicep and started pulling her to the hotel.

"Come on, dobe. You need some rest. Or we could just continue up where we left off." Sasuke smirked as Naruto's face let loose a whole new shade of red.

"Aww, hell naw! The first one was free, but you're gonna have to earn the second!" Naruto could've sworn she saw a glint in Sasuke's eyes at that moment. Then she saw the scariest face one could ever face in their lives. It could be classified as Sasuke's 'rape face'.

"We'll see about that." The Uchiha said gracefully, with a hint of murder and promises of pain in his tone.

Naruto looked back to the waving jinchuurikis and her teacher, pleading for help with her eyes.

"Remember to use protection!" the red head yelled out.

"FUCK YOU ROSHI!" was the blonde's heated reply.

…

**AN**

**Yay! Another chapter done! By the way, if no one noticed, I've rewritten chapter 6. Well, not rewritten it's more like extended. I just added a small fight scene and extended Itachi's and Kyoko's conversation.**

**Jiraiya's hogging the spotlight with all the fight scenes. Well, enjoy them while you can because one chapter, he's gonna DIE. Well, that was morbid. I'm trying to create a scenario where Naruto can shine her bright blonde light; and Sasuke as well. Until the next chapter then.**

**Dragonoiya**


	10. Ravens on Fire

Chapter 10

Ravens on Fire

Itachi couldn't believe something like this happened just two months after _that_ event. He blamed Kisame. It was the humanoid shark's idea to drink sake back at the Akatsuki and drown away their misery after their first failure to capture the Kyuubi. Itachi didn't share the feeling but complied anyways. Sometime later Kyoko joined them, laughing at their (read: Kisame's) demise. They all got drunk afterwards, with Kisame falling in a pond outside their base and just lying there. Itachi and Kyoko weren't worried, the man had gills anyways. Itachi didn't learn just how intolerant Kyoko was of alcohol until that night. Himself being slightly inebriated, one thing led to another and the next morning the two woke up in the same bed. That wasn't new. What _was_ new was that they were both completely nude. After the shock went away, they got dressed and pretended nothing ever happened.

'It would be pretty hard to pretend it didn't happen now.' Itachi thought. The day after his second failed attempt at capturing the Kyuubi, Kyoko constantly had different cravings for the randomest foods like marshmallows or bread. What was worse was that, at one point, the sight and smell of dangos had put her off. She also felt sick and ran to various trees to throw up the contents of her stomach numerous times. Being the loving boyfriend he was, Itachi took her to the closest village to get her health checked up at the local clinic. Sitting patiently in the waiting room, both his and Kyoko's Akatsuki cloaks hidden in sealing scrolls, the older Uchiha wasn't quite prepared for what the nurse told him about his girlfriend's condition.

"Congratulations, sir! Your wife is pregnant with twins!" the nurse announced with enthusiasm. Itachi had his suspicions, but the news hit him harder than expected. He wasn't sure what to feel. He was going to be a father but he wasn't prepared, as the thought of it never crossed his mind. Collecting his pregnant red head from the clinic nurses, the two ninjas donned their cloaks and silently made their way back to the base. No words passed between them, they just trekked their way back to their headquarters, stopping when Kyoko felt tired.

When their camouflaged base came into view, Itachi took hold of Kyoko's hand, locking their fingers. Kyoko looked up at him in surprise, finding her boyfriend looking away from her. The red head giggled, who's the tsundere now?

"Kyoko," Itachi addressed. Kyoko looked back at the raven-haired man. "Now that we've gotten ourselves into this, I think we should get married. So marry me."

Kyoko smiled. Trust Itachi to get straight to the point of something. His proposal sounded more of an order though, and that pissed off the red head slightly. "Marry you? I think _you_ should be the one to marry _me!_ Not that I want to, it's just that I have to!" Kyoko crossed her arms and scowled. Itachi chuckled and patted her stomach, where her- no _their_ children were growing inside the womb.

Just then Kisame appeared from behind a tree. "I was waiting for you two to come but I didn't think I'd hear _this _so soon." He said as the two former Konoha ninjas glared at him. "I'm not sure what I just heard was a proposal or a challenge but I'm happy for the both of you." He continued, patting their shoulders as Kyoko rolled her eyes.

"So, I'm thinking of names for the twins…" Kyoko trailed off, trying to start a conversation with her now fiancé.

"Oh? Already planning the kids' names eh?" Kisame asked, completely unaware of their situation.

…

Contrary to The Three Pervert's (Naruto's nickname to the Jiraiya, Roshi and Han group) belief, Naruto and Sasuke did _not_ get down and dirty. Sasuke merely pushed Naruto into the room she stayed in the hotel and stalked off to his own he shared with Kakashi, ignoring the loud string of curses that boomed out from the blonde's room. People passing by had been thinking of calling an exorcist.

Entering his room, the Uchiha found his sensei lying in bed read his precious Icha Icha. One might've thought that sharing a room with the Hatake would guarantee a glimpse of his face, Sasuke thought so. However, the infuriating bastard wore what he dubbed as his 'sleeping mask'. There was just no winning with this guy when it came to that simple piece of fabric! Kakashi looked up from his book.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, you came back eh? So did you have fun?" the one-eyed man asked.

"Hn." Was Sasuke's expressionless reply as he made his way to the bathroom.

"You'll never get a girlfriend with an attitude like that."

"You'd be surprised." Was the almost unheard mutter heard from the onyx-eyed boy as the bathroom door closed and locked. Kakashi grinned under his mask. His students certainly were growing so fast, it made him feel old.

…

Naruto turned on the shower, relishing in the warm water that soaked her bare body. She looked down at herself, the…unmanly body still rather alien to what she was used to. She'd secretly read one of the Pervy Sage's books once, a scene where a woman touched herself came to mind. Grabbing at the lumps of flesh on her chest she rubbed them. She did _not_ feel whatever it was that woman felt, the Pervy Sage exaggerated too much. Releasing her hold of herself, she thought about what she felt when Sasuke grabbed them. Now _that_ was the feeling, even if it was just slight, otherwise it was just shock and anger.

Then came the thing about their heated kiss. Naruto didn't know what to make of it. Are they a couple now or _what_? In any case, Naruto realized she should get out of the shower now before Ero-Sennin got back. It would be a shame if she killed her teacher because he peeped in on her. Getting out of the shower and drying off, Naruto realized her hair was too long. It fell well past her butt, much longer than Sakura's had been. Naruto had half a mind to chop it off and sport the short spiky hair she used to have, but something was holding her back. She couldn't describe the feeling; it was like the long hair meant something special. The blonde sighed, realizing that this is what girls must feel when they consider cutting her hair. In that case, she won't cut it…yet.

Flopping down on the warm and soft hotel bed, Naruto felt the gravity of sleep pulling at her. Her last thoughts before dozing off were about how Fu was doing back home and the Rookie Nine. That reminded her, they probably still didn't know that Naruto was a girl. When did she stop wearing the henge anyways? Oh well, sleepy time…

…

"You interrupted our mission, where we had struck gold, for _this_ shit?" Kakuzu complained, rubbing the bridge of his nose in annoyance. The entire Akatsuki's appearances had been transported to one certain area, where the leader and few others were standing at in person.

"Tobi is a good boy!" a man cried out. He wore an orange mask with spiral-pattern that only showed his right eye. He wore a black long-sleeve top that also covered his neck and chin, a pair of black gloves, and a pair of dark-colored pants along with the standard Akatsuki shoes and white stirrups. On his waist, he wore a thick black belt with armor-like metal plates attached to it with a green scarf. He had short, spiky black hair and that was the only genetic characteristic that could be seen.

"Why do we need this buffoon, yeah?" Deidara asked. "We don't have _that_ many rings, un."

"It's true that Tobi can't become a real Akatsuki member due to the fact that we only have ten rings, but he'll stay with us as an informant." An orange-haired man with piercings similar-looking to Yahiko stated.

"He doesn't _look_ information-reliable." Sasori muttered.

"So is this all we came here for, _Sir Leader?_" Hidan asked in a mocking tone. 'Sir Leader' glared at him for a moment.

"No, there is something you should know before the surprise affects your mission."

"Does it have to do with the fact that EVERY FUCKING JINCHUURIKI LOOKS FUCKING DIFFERENT?" Hidan yelled, waving his arms like a drowning man when he yelled the last part. Kisame rubbed his ear while Tobi pressed his palms to the sides of his head, whining.

"You didn't have to shout." Pain reprimanded. "But yes, it does. Due to…certain circumstances every single jinchuuriki in the Elemental Nations had undergone a, what one might call it, gender change."

"Yeah, we've seen it." Kakuzu added. Some others nodded at this, already knowing of it (namely Kyoko, Itachi and Kisame).

"It wasn't my fault, I swear!" both Yahiko and Tobi cried out. The entire member's heads switched between them, confused as to who to believe. Pain quirked an eyebrow.

"Just saying." Tobi waved. Yahiko stood silent and attentive in his position, completely forgetting what he had blurted out earlier.

'Great, we have two idiots.' Was the thought that ran through every Akatsuki member's mind.

"Zetsu and Tobi, update us on the jinchuuriki's statuses." Pain ordered.

"The Ichibi is in Suna, a candidate for the title of Kazekage." Zetsu stated. Sasori twitched slightly at this. "The last place the Nibi, Sanbi, Rokubi and Hachibi were seen was on the outskirts of Kirigakure. Their location is currently unknown but we think that they are all residing in Kumogakure. The Nanabi is residing in Konohagakure and the Yonbi and Gobi are still in Iwagakure so that leaves the Kyuubi. Currently the Kyuubi is traveling around, however he, or should I say _she_ is in the company of the Toad Sannin so-"

"Trying to capture her now is a no-no." Tobi cut in. "As Kakuzu-sempai and Hidan-sempai learned."

"Shut up!" the two mentioned ninjas defended.

"We know that too, you know." Kyoko muttered, Itachi and Kisame nodding in agreement with her.

"In any case, all missions will be suspended for now." Pain continued.

"What? Why, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"The jinchuurikis think that we have a part involved with their conditions," Zetsu explained "which isn't all that far off from the truth." He muttered that last part.

"This means that, instead of chasing after them, they'll be the ones chasing after us for a way to change back. It's highly unlikely that their villages would get involved, as this is more of a personal matter."

"Oh, I see where you're getting at." Kisame nodded, holding his hand to his chin. "You're telling us to wander about in plain sight and hope we'll get 'ambushed' by a jinchuuriki."

"In a way, but lay low for a while. When the time comes, we take our plan into action. You are all dismissed." With that being said, the holographic images of everyone flickered into disappearance.

Kyoko stretched her arms, revealing the shape of her hidden assets beneath the cloak to the two men on either side of her, and moaned in satisfaction as a few joints popped.

"Ah, we got some time off. That makes things much easier." She said. Itachi replied with silence, which was what she was used to anyways.

"I would love to stick around for the wedding, but I got stuff to do and places to be. See ya!" Kisame waved as he took off to who-knows-where.

"Huh, so I guess it's just you and me now." Kyoko commented as they walked down the rocky paths, night having been fallen.

"I suppose so." Itachi drawled.

"So, what d'ya wanna do? Seeing as we have time to kill?" Kyoko asked, hands resting on the back of her neck.

"How about we practice our baby-making so we can give our twins more siblings in the future?" Itachi suggested, smirking. Kyoko turned red, her hands unlocking from the nape of her neck and her finger pointed at the raven-haired Uchiha.

"W-What the hell are you saying? Pervert!"

"Just kidding, you need some rest. We're going home."

"R-Right…" the red-head muttered, the blush still not gone from her face.

…

**AN**

**It must be an Uchiha thing, the perverseness. Anyways, my apologies if this chapter was shorter than you'd like, or has less humor than the others. I'm a little low on inspiration these days, but I'll do the best I can! When I wrote the title, the song "Girl on Fire" started playing in my head. Did anyone else experience that as well?**

**So Tobi has come! *applause* I know his appearance was a little too early but I love him too much to wait that long! :3 Even I'm waiting for the time-skip part to come but some more story plot has to be added. I'm not telling about it now else it'll ruin the story. ;) That and most of you will probably rage about it… anyways, see ya next chappie!**

**Dragonoiya**


	11. The Slug and the Cat

Chapter 11

The Slug and the Cat

The morning found Team 7 and The Three Perverts at the gates of Iwa. The event was tearful as they were all to be separated. Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke were to return to Konoha and report their mission, Naruto and Jiraiya continuing their training trip, and Han and Roshi staying in their rightful birth town. The guards at the gates had tripled, with a few Iwa ANBU 'strolling' about, ever since the Akatsuki's attempt at capturing not only Iwa's jinchuurikis but also Konoha's visiting jinchuuriki. The day had never been so hectic.

Waving at the energetic blonde until she and her teacher disappeared from the horizon, Han turned to Roshi. They both began to take a lazy stroll through the busy streets of Iwa, ignoring the numerous glares from the villagers.

"You know, she looks a little like a certain someone." The taller woman commented.

"I thought so too." Roshi agreed. "It was, uh…what's-his-name? The Yellow Flasher!"

"The Yellow _Flash_." Han corrected. "He was the Fourth Hokage of Konoha, remember?"

"Yeah, until the Kyuubi went and killed him. Do you reckon the brat knows?"

"Probably not, we can't even be sure she's at least his relative."

"I bet the Yonbi sealed inside of me that she's his daughter."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I would, that's how serious I am. I calls 'em like I sees 'em. I fought that blondie bastard back during the Third Ninja War, I _know_ what I saw."

Han shrugged. "If you say so…"

"That's right, Roshi knows best!"

"You're making yourself sound old though."

"With this face and body? Naw!"

"At this point, I can't decide whether that's a good thing or not."

"You're just jealous that your milkshakes just ain't as big as mine." Roshi wiggled her eyebrows, cupping her hands in gesture of…well, you get what I mean.

Han rolled her eyes. "You may be more developed, but I still top you when it comes to height. You, on the other hand, are short even for a woman…Shorty."

Roshi face-vaulted. Raising her head from the soil, she shook her fist at the still-walking Han. "I'm not short! You're the one who's freakishly tall!"

The armored woman chuckled bit, as the villager's glares did not cease or falter even slightly at their cheery mood.

…

Back when Utakata was a guy, she's always hated the Mizukage. Then, with Yagura being in the same condition as her, she let most of her hatred fade away. But now, Utakata never felt so pissed off at the former Mizukage. She wanted to melt away that childish woman's face, stab her multiple times in the heart, burn her body, and stomp all over her corpse! Staying in Kiri as missing-nins and making a living out of bounty hunting was fine with her. Moving to Kumogakure was very much unnecessary! She despised going there for that one very _very_ big reason.

Yugito Nii, that jinchuuriki who had some sort of strange hold over her. Whenever the blonde male entered within five meters of Utakata, the Rokubi jinchuuriki felt waves upon waves of butterflies tearing her stomach apart. It was undeniable. It was no longer an attraction, it now became stronger, like a feeling that they were _meant_ to be. Utakata was pissed at Yugito for this, the incredibly strong _feeling_ she had for him, and poor Yugito wondered what he did to get on that particular woman's bad side.

Of course, it wasn't _just_ Yugito; he was just the big factor. There was Killer Bee; she was annoying with her rapping. Then there was the Raikage, he scared her shitless. And _then_ there was the fact that Kumo was literally in the fucking clouds! Utakata had the constant fear that, any time, someone may drop to their doom at any given moment. The Rokubi jinchuuriki just wanted the life of a missing-nin, but _Yagura_ said that she'd be in more danger if she wandered around without the help of a Hidden Village. Stupid Akatsuki and their stupid-ass jutsu that made her this way. Utakata leaned slightly on the railing of her balcony some houses away from the Raikage's office, cursing the Akatsuki, Yagura and Yugito.

"Hey, hey, what's with the frown? I ain't no clown, but turn that monster upside down!" Bee rapped, landing from out of nowhere on the railing next to the Rokubi jinchuuriki. Utakata ignored her, scowling at the empty space in front of her.

"Ya know, Yugi's at your door. He ain't knockin' at it but I think you should really answer for." Utakata didn't move a muscle. She heard the rapper, but she chose to ignore him.

"Look, I dunno what's gotten into that guy. He looked so ready to cry so I asked him what was on his mind. I think he said something about being bi. He's got flowers in his hands; I thought you might wanna know. He's standing right outside your door you know. You've gotta answer it soon, stuff like love happens even rarely on a blue moon."

Utakata twitched. Great, even someone like Bee could see that she fell hard for the blonde. What else was she missing? Oh wait, Yugito was standing right outside her home. Rushing to her door, Utakata took note to get pissed at Killer Bee for even trying to help her with her love life, even if it was Yugito she was really trying to help. Yanking her front door open, Utakata faced a confused-looking Yugito poised to knock on her door. The blonde male blushed at the sight of her. Utakata wore the blue kimono she always wore back when she was a missing-nin, the difference being that she adjusted the hem to cover her chest. Even so, the kimono showed a bit of her cleavage, and that made it even harder for Yugito to talk properly to the woman when his eyes kept on trailing down her neck.

"Ah, Utakata-san." Yugito greeted cheerfully, trying his hardest to keep a straight smile on.

"Yes, Yugito-san?" Dammit, the butterflies were acting up again. Keep a straight face, Utakata. And don't…run…away…Your pride's at stake here. 'Maybe you'll even reel yourself in a good catch.' Utakata's sub-conscience mind betrayed. Damn you, shut up!

Yugito brought out his right arm from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of flowers directed at Utakata. Utakata blinked in surprise until a slight blush rose to her face, the butterflies making such a rage in her abdomen, she was beginning to feel a stomach-ache.

"I honestly felt that you didn't like me for some reason. So whatever I've done to upset you, I deeply apologize for it. Here's a token of my apology, I hope we can become friends." Yugito said, rushing the last sentence. Utakata accepted the flowers, silent as she was unable to come up with a suitable reply. Yugito waited for her to reply with baited breath.

"Thanks." She said at last. "I'm sorry too, for that impression I gave."

"So…friends?" Yugito held out a hand in gesture of a handshake. Utakata smiled.

"Friends." The brown-haired woman shook the outstretched hand of the Nibi jinchuuriki. Utakata went inside, gesturing to Yugito that he may come in as well. The Rokubi jinchuuriki filled an empty vase with water and carefully placed the flowers in it. There were different varieties. Utakata was never one to get attached to flowers because she lived in an environment that was all water and no land, but she might find herself loving the flowers that Yugito got her.

"So, uh, I thought we might go out for lunch. You know, to get to know each other a bit." Yugito suggested as the flower vase was set upon the middle of the dining table. Utakata turned to the blonde.

"Sounds like a good idea." She chirped cheerfully. Maybe it was about time she listened to her sub-consciences and get what her heart desires. 'Good, maybe one day you two will get married and do the rainbow flamingo tango and have little blonde brown-eyed kids.' Now it was pushing it too far. 'You know what you want him inside you.' In the name of Rokubi, shut the fuck up!

Despite the chaos of Utakata's inner turmoil, Utakata on the outside looked calm and collected. The exact same went for Yugito, on the inside he had been stressing out whether Utakata would reject him or something. When she didn't there came the concept of trying to court her without her noticing it, in case she would distance herself again. Geez, it was like defusing a time-bomb. Now Yugito understood why males never asked him out when he was a girl.

…

In the Raikage's office, Killer Bee and Yagura watched the two ninjas interacting through shared binoculars. A was a little annoyed at first with the ninjas hogging his convenient window over-looking all of Kumogakure, until their whisperings and giggles got the best of his curiosity. Very soon, the Raikage found himself peeking in on Yugito's and Utakata's lunch 'date' at a small café that could be clearly seen through the office window, his (poor) reasoning being that he was keeping watch on foreign ninja behavior.

It ended when the 'date' ended and A found his sister molesting herself (again…wait, isn't this masturbation?) and kicked her abdomen, knocking her out. Yagura, bored that her source of entertainment was over, decide to engage in conversation with the Raikage and help him in his work his work with suggestions.

"Hey bro!" Bee cried, miraculously healed from the kick her brother gave her. "There's one thing on my mind. How do we find the Akatsuki? They're all dangerous escapees, I hardly think they'd co-operate over a cup of tea." A eyes his sister curiously.

"I'm glad to see, you've got a brain in there, Bee." He stated, ignoring Bee's cries of "Hey, fool ya fool!" "You don't have to worry over that though; you've got an entire Hidden Village's support. If Akatsuki refuses to reverse the damage they've done, we'll be forced to force them to."

"It may be true that _we_ have a village's support." Yagura cut in. "However, the same can't be said for the other jinchuurikis living in biased villages."

"Then that will be those villages' fault for increasing our bijuu count. Those jinchuurikis will want to settle here, where jinchuurikis are not discriminated, and our village strength will increase."

Yagura sighed and went back to watching the sun set over Kumogakure.

…

Gaara had done it. She finally became the Kazekage! She could protect her people now, even if they still didn't quite like her so much. She'll strive to gain their full acceptance, just as Naruto was doing. Speaking of Naruto, Gaara wondered how she was doing. Being the Kazekage, she couldn't leave the village of her own free will. And if she could, Naruto wouldn't be at Konoha. Gaara knew Naruto was on a training trip with Jiraiya, so the chances of meeting her were slim.

Gaara's thoughts then wandered to Fu as she continued with the paperwork that became a Kazekage's part of their daily life.

…

**AN**

**I couldn't sleep much, so I wrote this out. Updates will take longer from now on because school's starting next week. D:**

**Bye for now!**

**Dragonoiya**


	12. Fall of the Demon Bee

Chapter 12

Fall of the Demon Bee

Fu jumped through the trees of Fire Country alongside Team Seven minus Naruto. He finally became a Konoha ninja, and he was on his first C-Rank mission as shinobi of the Leaf. The Hokage placed him on Team Seven as a temporary replacement for Naruto, though the team's Uchiha didn't like the idea of that. But there was one thing Fu couldn't understand about himself. The hitai-ate showing off the symbol of the Leaf was tied around his right arm, but he couldn't bring himself to remove the Takigakure hitai-ate from his left arm. Even though the villagers of Taki mistreated him and he, in turn, hated them Fu still felt a small attachment for the village where he was born and raised.

"Kakashi-sensei, how much longer until we get there? We've been traveling for three days straight!" Sakura groaned. Kakashi was tree-jumping with his nose buried in his favorite Icha Icha.

"We'll get there in an hour." He replied.

"That's what you've been saying every hour!"

Fu shook his head. The team sensei was rather tardy, and a bit lazy, but Fu knew that, under all that, there was a reliable shinobi who would risk their life for the sake of others. Naruto's words must be getting to him, he was already seeing underneath the underneath. But that was rather hard to believe when the Hatake was being all 'cool and hip' (as one very eccentric Jounin called him).

It had been a year since Naruto had left on her training trip; Fu wondered how she was doing, what with having a pervert for a teacher her life must be hell. And for some unfathomable reason, Fu's thoughts always drifted to that cute red-head with the Shukaku sealed in her. He heard she became the Kazekage; he respected her for being able to achieve that but he found his feelings for her going somewhere beyond respect. Fu couldn't quite understand it, but he had a feeling he was falling for Gaara. Did she feel the same? Probably not but...

Fu shook his head, banishing his thoughts. He looked towards Sasuke. He'd been a little aloof and on cloud nine when he returned from his mission to Iwa. Sakura told him he went and 'rendezvoused' with Naruto there; though, for the life of Nanabi, he had no clue what she meant when she said there was another meaning to that.

The jinchuuriki of the Seven Tailed Demon Bee came to a halt when he saw a flash of red and black. Knowing what the Akatsuki did to him and their color scheme, Fu had all reason to stop his tree jumping to investigate.

"Fu! Where are you going?" Sakura called out when she noticed that Fu had suddenly stopped and was heading in a completely different direction. Sasuke adopted a pissed-off look; Kakashi noted his sudden sullen mood. For whatever reason, a few months after the Iwa mission, Sasuke hadn't been talking to them as much as he had when Naruto was there. Kakashi would've guessed it as love-sickness but this didn't seem like any normal symptoms of missing someone; Sasuke was getting easier to irritate day by day and he became slightly more distant.

"Yahiko! Wait up!" a loud, cheery voice called out in desperation.

"Dammit, Tobi. Hurry up! We're going to miss the circus!" an equally loud and playful voice yelled in reply. Both voices were male...-ish.

"But there is no circus!"

"Of course there's a circus! Didn't you see the falcon flying about?"

"That was around a year ago, and it signaled the Chunin Exams!"

"Not _that_ falcon! The other one!"

"What other one?"

"You know, the one that flew around around a year ago, I think."

"That's what I meant!"

"But I was talking about the unicorn!"

"UNICORN?!"

This was Sasuke's breaking point. Whoever these guys were just pissed the Uchiha off to the max by simply talking (more like broadcasting their...conversation to the whole world).

Using the tree branch he was standing on as a booster, Sasuke launched himself to where he heard the voices, which happened to be where Fu was heading as well. Inflicting a Dynamic Entry that would've made Gai proud onto one of his victims, Sasuke kicked an orange-haired man down from the canopy of tree leaves onto the hard and unforgiving grassy undergrowth of the forest. He noticed the man wore a black cloak with red cloud designs and immediately recognized him as part of the Akatsuki.

The man, Yahiko, instantly and inhumanly recovered as he stuck his feet to a tree, stumbling as the sudden stick-on broke his fall. A bright light screened Yahiko and, taking advantage of his temporary blindness, Fu jumped at him with kunai in hand. Yahiko jumped out of the way, laughing while rubbing his eyes. Slipping off a branch, Tobi caught Yahiko by his foot, the both of them hanging upside down as Tobi was stuck to the underside of the branch. Sasuke landed beside Fu as Kakashi and Sakura appeared on a different branch.

"Sasuke, Fu, stand by! We're dealing with Akatsuki here so it's best to proceed with caution." Kakashi ordered.

"Hey, you! Tell us who made me like this!" Fu yelled, ignoring Kakashi's words.

"Made you like what? I don't see anything wrong with you." Tobi said, rubbing the back of his head as he threw Yahiko into a stable position on a tree branch.

"I'm a fucking guy when I'm supposed to be a girl!"

"You're a girl?!" Yahiko cried out. "But, you're not wearing a bra! (At least, I think you're not...) All big girls wear bras, like Konan-chan. Konan-chan has big jiggly things and she has to keep them up by wearing a bra, that's what she told me!"

"Uh...Yahiko?" Tobi asked uncertainly.

"Yeah?"

"They probably didn't need to know that..."

It was true. Sakura and Fu were blushing a deep red and Kakashi was giggling pervertedly. Sasuke, on his part, felt that he could've gone his whole life without knowing that; then again, now he knew _why_ girls wore such things. Images of Naruto in a bra flooded his mind and he shook his head to get rid of the perverted thoughts about Naruto that seem to pop up more these days. Kakashi brought the genins back to attention.

"Fu, help me take on the TMI one. Sasuke and Sakura, you two distract the masked one." The pinkette and Uchiha nodded and threw shurikens at their assigned target, Sasuke jumping closer to engage him in hand-to-hand combat. He didn't look so tough.

Yahiko and Tobi were beginning to be a challenge for Team Seven, dodging and side-stepping their attacks; the slippery bastards that they were. Dodging Sakura's projectiles, Tobi drew closer to Sasuke with a serious objective in mind.

"Sasuke Uchiha." the deep and serious voice startled the young Uchiha. Tobi smirked beneath his mask.

"You know, I've heard a few interesting things this past month." The masked man continued, lowering his voice so only Sasuke could hear. "It seems that, because a certain Snake Sannin wasn't able to get his hands on the Sharingan, he settled for the next best thing, a jinchuuriki." Sasuke's eyes widened as Tobi unleashed blow after blow while Sasuke made an effort to dodge them all. "He was _very_ interested in Kyuubi's jinchuuriki."

At the indirect mention of Naruto, Sasuke unwillingly let Tobi give him a powerful punch to his stomach, sending the Uchiha flying back.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called out in concern.

"Fu!" the voice of Kakashi yelled. Sakura whipped her head to see Fu, hit by Yahiko's unsuspected Shadow Clone, being knocked out and grabbed by Tobi. How did he get there?! Tobi, holding on to the limp and unconscious body of the Nanabi's jinchuuriki, grabbed hold of a glowing Yahiko. A distortion in their midst indicated the use of Tobi's space-time jutsu.

"Hey, I won! Can't a guy celebrate? Am I a guy? Oh, who cares? Let's have sakeee~!" was the last thing the remainder of Team Seven heard before the three disappeared. Kakashi had tried to stop them, countering with a Kamui of his own, but failed as he was too late. The sudden change in ability and demeanor of the mask with the orange swirled mask was what threw the team off. Tobi was deemed dangerous from then on.

Sakura groaned. How where they going to explain this to the Hokage? More so, how were they going to break the news to _Naruto?_

...

**AN**

**Finally, I got this chapter done. I realize I've been lazy and I need to pick my ass up more often, but you know school. Homework likes to be a bitch all the time. I am SO sorry for these turn of events but I really need someone to die here! (Why does this make me sound demented?) Fu was the first that came to mind since the others had important roles so I guess there won't be much GaaFu anymore, huh?**

**I intended to update this after Paradox but I reached a mind block there and proceeded to do this. Before I knew it, I completed this chapter! And for those who don't know what TMI means, it's Too Much Information. That's it for now so until we meet again!**

**Dragonoiya**


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